When I was in my early twenties,
I was scattered. Not confused I add, but scattered and doing things that scattered boys did
then and I guess still do today – ‘catching’ like a problem, joyriding in dad’s
stolen Toyota, cigarettes, scaling the boundary wall in the dead of the night
to go clubbing and chasing after pretty girls.
For a girl who I think is a couple of
years out of her teens, Ronah Karatsi (below), does not appear to be scattered or
confused, but switched on. Reading part of her Twitter profile, which indicates
she is a part time model and drama student, she also claims she can sing, as
does Nanfukka, the waitress in my local kafunda.
Ronah, whose late mum Justine, first recorded her song on cassette when she was a mere 2-year old, has done a cover of Stay by Miley
Cyrus and I really have to admit that she can sing and would give Juliana and the rest a
run for their money. While I am no Steve Jean or Simon Cowell for sure, I surely have spotted talent here and think she does have the voice to pursue
a music career. Check out the song on this link: datafilehost.com/d/ed23e46b
While I was scattered and Ronah
is switched on, there is one person who is very confused. Opi Baron (below) should be
doing things that 20-year-old girls do – like following the latest fashion
trends, teasing the boys or like Ronah, singing. But hmm, she’s not doing any
of that. Instead she sits at home beefing about her sexuality.
Now this is the time where you ask Wifey if Daughter has been acting all funny. As a teen, Opi had issues when her bust took on a
30D size. It affected her so much that she is ashamed and disgusted whenever
she looks down and sees it. She is so disgusted, that she
wears a breast-binder each day in a desperate bid to stop them being noticed and wait for it, wait for it, wait
for it, is also looking for £5,000 (sh24m) to have a bilateral
mastectomy.
But wait, there is more to her confusion. It’s not the 30D size
that’s really killing her, but her sexuality too. Opi claims she is ‘non-binary’,
which means she doesn’t identify as being man or woman. In her defence she
says: “You
are brought up and taught from a young age that there is only ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ and two
boxes that you fit into,
but that's not the case.
While I have feminine traits, instead of it being black or white,
male or female - there are
a whole range of shades in the middle which is where I am.”
According to the men in white coats with stethoscopes draped
round their necks, and who would jump at the chance of giving her a lobotomy,
Opi is ‘gender dysphoria’ - a condition where a person experiences distress
because there's a mismatch between their biological sex and gender identity.
If all that has not floored you, then this should. Opi
has Boyfie -
Phill Abbott
who is heterosexual and supportive in Opi's choices and about the pending breast
removal surgery. In other words, he is also confused.
Not even television talk show
host, Jerry Springer, could have scripted this any better. I know we all have
issues and however hard I try to comprehend what Opi is going through, I am
none the wiser. What is wrong with her doing normal teen rebellious things like hacking off
that beautiful hair when in revolt. Or putting in that extra earing because
mother has annoyed?
Contrary to popular folklore that
man’s best friend is his dog, it’s not – it never has been. Boobs are man’s best
friend and the moment boyfie Phil Abbott undresses
Opi for a sawa ya malavu session and
there are no 30Ds to grope, his once scattered and confused brain will switch on and just watch how fast he flees.
All this is getting me down so you know what, rather than
persist with this column that’s so vexing me and I suspect you as well by dwelling
on the confused and scattered Opi, let’s instead go for it and end the read on a high.
Let's yank up the decibels and make out that we are at a beach party, kick off our shoes, do enough noise
pollution to annoy the neighbours that they call KCCA and listen to our Ronah Karatsi? That cool with you? Good then.
By the way, Nanfukka from the kafunda can’t
sing to save her deary life, but no one has the courage or guts to tell her that.
Ronah Karatsi's music is produced by Baru Beats and she sings with Tulia band, which was founded by her sister Ruth Karatsi