Value For Money

How do we know that we are getting value for money? Is the car that we buy from the bond value for money or do we down the road regret we had bought the car?
The first car I bought in Uganda was a Honda, a Honda Vigor and from the bond. Suffice to say that is was a car not just off the ship from Dubai or Japan, but one that had been driven around in Kampala for a while until Owner had decided to sell it off.

I am a person who, when it comes to cars, I am driven by design rather than things like fuel consumption or say spare parts. With money in the bank, it was time to get a new ride and with hindsight, I should have done some research, but didn’t. I walked into the first bond that I came across, saw the Honda in the corner and decided that, that was what I wanted. I think Salesman read me like a book and I played right into his hands. When he saw me looking at the Honda, he was quick to point out that it was not for sale.

Not for sale? Did he know who he was talking to? Did he not know that it was me – me THE Timothy Bukumunhe? I should have unleashed a tumbavu on him except then, I didn’t know what the word tumbavu stood for let alone that it existed. So I assured him that I would not settle for anything less and it was the Honda or nothing. He tried showing me a Toyota Kabina but I wasn’t interested.

All of a sudden, he broke down and caved in. “Okay take it” he said and in a flash I was off to the bank and two hours later, I had the Honda plus log book. Honda was my pride and joy and even better, whenever I went into town, I didn’t see anybody with a Honda save for New Vision CEO, Robert Kabushenga who then, had a silver Honda Inspire and it looked very much like mine.

Then some fool deiced to knock off my wing mirror. Not a problem really for all I had to do was to head down to Kisseka Market to get a replacement. Except that Kisseka Market, was not flush with Honda spare parts. However, the man tending to my needs assured me he could find one. He did find one except that it was not a Honda wing mirror but that of some Toyota car.

Next to ‘disturb me’ as we Ugandans are so fond of saying was the clutch plate. The clutch plate became an issue and my mechanic at the time, scoured Kampala looking for one but bleak. As I pondered wondering what to do, I looked back and asked myself if I had gotten value for money when I bought the Honda. I hadn’t and it was then that I realized that Salesman had played me. Then and unknown to me, there were no Honda parts in Uganda – unless you ordered for them from abroad. It got to a point when the car packed up and died in the garage for a lack of spare parts.

With frustration building up in me, I told Mechanic to put it on the market. Weeks went by and when the call came through. Some lady had seen it and wanted it. When I met Lady, it was obvious she didn’t know much about cars and like me, she liked its design. Picking a leaf from Salesman who had sold it to me, I tossed her about until we agreed on a price that was very attractive. And with that, I told Mechanic to do emergency repairs that when she went for a test drive, all would be okay.

The following day she did and had brought her brother in tow. He gave it the all clear, I got my dime from her and she got the Honda and log book. Three days later, her brother calls to complain. My retort?

TB: “But Chief, you took the car for a spin and you had no issues with it. Now you want your money back?!!

Brother: “But my mechanic tells me it is not worth the money we paid. It has so many issues.”

TB: “I am sorry, but I can’t help you. I sold you the car on an ‘as is basis’”.

When I bought the car, I didn’t get value for money. The people who bought the car from me didn’t get value for their money and I suspect that whomever they sold it to, didn’t get their money’s worth either.

The people in the airline business will tell you that the most expensive airline route in the world is the forty-five minute hop between Entebbe and Jomo Kenyatta airports. The next most expensive route which, is equally a shot hop is between Spain and Gibraltar. That said, Kenya Airways will do – or rather has done everything it can possibly to do to make sure it is the premier carrier between Entebbe and Jomo Kenyatta. And with a fee of almost $400 (sh900) for a forty-five minute plane ride, they are laughing all the way to the bank

And so I find myself on the 5:00am flight to Nairobi. The 5:00am flight is Businessman’s flight except that I am not going on business but to Seychelles on holiday. And seeing that I am going on holiday, when the drinks cart came round, I told Cabin Crew that it would be beer that I would be drinking and not coffee.
That statement startled it her that she sought higher authority from Chief Purser – read Head Cabin Crew. Chief Purser was against the idea of booze but when I assured him that I paid my dime, he reluctantly relented.

Do you know that the sound a can of beer makes when it is being popped opens is very distinctive? It was so distinctive that Businessmen were all looking round to see who was catching at such an early hour.

Four minutes after the first can was popped, I was popping another open (I know because Cabin Crew said: “Oh my God, it’s only been four minutes since I gave you the first can!”). And I told her: “Cabin Crew, I have to get value for my money so stop fluffing about and get me a four pack!”

She dithered but when she saw the sneer that I gave her, four cans duly appeared. Let’s do some math’s here. A can of beer costs about sh8,000 on average. I popped open eight cans so that would be sh32,000 while I paid over $400 for my ticket. Then there is Chief Purser telling me that I can’t have any more beer because it is a morning flight.

Hello, hello! I paid my dime and if I want to drink eight cups of coffee between Nairobi and Jomo Kenyatta I would have done just that! If I wanted eight cans plus of beer, it is my prerogative because I paid for them! Not so?
Our dime is our dime and when we spend it we want to get value for our money and I really don’t like being ripped off by airlines or car bond dealers.

As I close, I was ripped off last week. You remember the sandals issue where I had to walk home barefooted? The sandals were brand new, but only lasted a couple of hours. And yes the itch I had between my toes did turn out to be jiggers. According to House Help who performed the vital keyhole surgery with the aid of a torn plucked from an orange tree, he extracted two jiggers from my toes. And judging by the way he smiled when I slapped 10k into this hands, he did get value for the 10min ‘surgery’ that he performed!