No Longer Shaken and Stired But Heineken

When it comes to water, I certainly know that my grandparents like most grandparents, did not drink bottled mineral water. The water they drank came from the village stream or borehole which was often a mile away. And most times they did not boil the water because then, the MOH had not thought – or was it had not bothered telling them about boiling water before they drank it.

To date, we have a market that is flooded with bottled mineral water. There is so much bottled mineral water on the market that it is often gets confusing as in terms of what does one buy, which is the best brand.

Thankfully, I don’t drink water – bottled or otherwise for as much as that advert tells us that water is life the reality is that water has no taste. It is just there and very bland. If only some sugar could be added into it.

That said, there is a chap called Daniel Craig – the James Bond actor who is coming to Uganda this Thursday and will be in Cineplex, Oasis Mall.

Ok, he may not be here in person but the beer brand he drinks in the movie will be sponsoring the premier of the movie. The beer, which is brewed in Holland, also sponsors the football European Champions League amongst other things

So what’s the big deal about beer, James Bond and Daniel Craig? Well Juliana Kagwa who, is the country manager for Heineken and certain Koen Mroshuis who is Heineken’s General Manager for East Africa invited me and a whole host of other people on an ‘open your world’ boat cruise last week.

Boat cruises are boat cruises and this one was no different from the many that I have previously attended. There were plenty of drinks, food and of course, a presentation given by both Kagwa and Morshuis.

But the thing that really intrigued was that James Bond will no longer be drinking his usual – Vodka Martini and thus he will no longer be telling the barman that he wants it: “shaken, not stirred.”

He won’t be drinking Vodka Martini because Kagwa, Morshuis and the bigwigs back at Heineken’s head office in Amsterdam have lured James Bond away from Vodka Martini and on to their brand. And I also hear that the move cost them millions of US dollars.

It kind of reminds me of the battles I used to have with Uganda Breweries and Nile Breweries when the likes of Sandor Walusimbi, Marion Muyobo and Brenda Mbathi were still with UBL

I am sure that they didn’t spend the same kind of dime on luring me away from their brands that Heineken spent luring James Bond away from Vodka Martini. Like I said, Heineken spent millions on Bond. I am also sure that they also threw in other incentives to make him sign.

If I recall, all I got from UBL was a t-shirt and a couple of beers and that was it, I was on board. I still can’t believe that I sold myself so cheaply but now that I know millions of US dollars were spent on Bond, is this the right time to jump off the UBL ship and throw myself at the feet of Kagwa and Morshuis?

But then again with an average price tag of 10k per bottle in most pubs, which not only shook me but stirred me, it might just be more than a tall financial order to meet on my part – well unless I get invited to another cruise and the movie premier on Thursday.