The Idle Week

It’s been that kind of week, a week that seemingly had no purpose and one that ended on a tragic note.

I was idle and hooking up with a couple of friends, it got me thinking about common sense. When we placed our order for three drinks – two Club beers and a TML, the waitress that served us was totally devoid of common sense.

I was at the table alone when the drinks arrived and holding on to one Club, she asked if it was what I was going to drink. I told her “no”. So what does she do next? She grabs the other Club and again asks if it is what I am going to drink. Again, I tell her “no” which then leaves her with her next option. “Oh, so you are going to have the TML then” so she laments.

But Waitress, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that if I have declined one Club, it is more than likely I won’t be having the second Club either.

Then the blue fly appeared out of nowhere. Well tell a lie, it must have appeared out of the pit latrine. And again that got me thinking.

Life is not fair not just for us humans but also in the animal kingdom too. I have read stories where cats and dogs get left a fortune when their owners pass on. And some animals eat and get looked after better that some humans do.

But what is in store for Blue Pit Latrine Fly? From the time it is born, its destiny is to hang out and feast on faeces in the worst pit latrines in the land. And when they tire of feasting on faeces, they make it a point of hovering on your glass or bottle and if not, they want to nibble on your pork as well.

Blue Pit Larine Fly came for our pork but the good thing we were done so it ended up nibbling on the scraps. I felt sorry for it. I really did the poor sod. As I looked at it, I thought of the rest of its family – its grandparents, parents, siblings, nephews, nieces and cousins and whether they know that they are the slime of the animal kingdom. And when they are down in the pit latrine which part of the s**t do they prefer? Yuck!

Moving on, back in the old days when it came to music and cassette tapes, I was used to brands like Memorex, TDK, and Sony. However when I returned to Uganda, I found out that people here didn’t use those brands. Rather, they used something called the Compact which, was just like any other tape. Today, tapes are a thing of the past but not for Fred.

Fred finally bought a ride – a Toyota kabina and I am happy for him. What I am not happy about is that he chose to flaunt his music which was not on a CD or on a flash disk but – wait for it, wait for it - on a Compact.

Ten minutes into the ride and there was a danger of the tape getting chewed so he hit the eject button slapped the Compact on the dash board a couple of times and then put it back into the tape deck.

It worked for a while but twenty minutes later it wasn’t. There was a gargling sound that Beyonce sounded like a ninety-four year old granny. And just like that, the tape got chewed up with Beyonce gargling out her last breath of life.

And for poor Fred, he spent the better part of the afternoon trying to remove the tape from the player.

Ending on a sad note, we all feel the grief that the Mulwana family is going through right now. James Mulwana, was a pillar and much respected. May his soul rest in peace.