Monday, October 27, 2014

You Want Sex With An Animal? Denmark Has Animal Sex Brothels!

When Ms. Wandira Kazibwe was still Vice President and Minster of Agriculture, she was reportedly against the artificial insemination of cows because “...cows also like to have sex.” But let’s bookmark Ms. Kazibwe’s comments and return to them later.

I’ve been to Denmark and it’s a beautiful country. But back in the day, they used to be barbaric with the Vikings marauding across Western Europe, pillaging, raping and looting. Today, they are a gentle nation with a population of 5.6 million, a life expectancy of 77 years for men and 81 for women and their GNI per capita according to World Bank, is US $60,160. They even give us Ugandan’s economic aid through DANIDA.

While the Danish might also produce some of the finest cheese in the world and have a solid football team, it would appear that not all of the once marauding Vikings have settled down and I hope you are sitting down when you read what’s coming next.

Two weeks ago, the Danish agricultural minister, Dan Jorgensen, finally decided to ban sex with animals because the practice was 'damaging the country's reputation as well as being non-consensual’. Do you want me to repeat that? Ok, two weeks ago, the Danish agricultural minister, Dan Jorgensen, finally decided to ban sex with animals because the practice was 'damaging the country's reputation as well as being non-consensual’. It sounds a trifle similar to what Kazibwe said except that, she was advocating for sex between bulls and cows. And Jorgensen, how do animals give consent to sex with humans? Would the cow have to moo twice?

Denmark if you remember, was one of the countries that made noise and threatened to cut off aid to Uganda if the anti-gay bill was passed not so? But between the two evils, which is worse – same couple sex or sex with animals?

The Danes would lecture us that if the practice was banned, it ‘would interfere on the human rights of those who have sex with animals.’ Hmm!

The country has now become a magnet for animal sex tourists and has even seen a surge in animal brothels - as the act is banned almost everywhere else in Europe.

Pause, pause, pause!! Sex animal tourists and animal brothels? How perverse can the Danes really get? We don’t have animal brothels in our backward Uganda but in first world Denmark, it is the order of the day. Can you imagine going to Meat Packers on Old Portbell Road on a Saturday morning to buy your Sunday roast and only to find a line of Danes hoping to have sex with the cows, goats or sheep before they are slaughtered.

A recent up opinion poll revealed that 76% of Danes supported a ban on animal sex. So what about the 24% who are still in favour of having sex with animals? Will they be camping at Jessa Dairies?

Uganda as a nation is not perfect and yes we do have our faults but, the Western World ought to first get their house in order before melting down rules to us.

Seeing Foreign Minister Sam Kuteesa, is now a bigwig at the UN, he should bring this practise to the attention of the world as well as writing a strongly worded letter to the governments of Finland, Hungary and Romania and threaten to close down their embassies in Kampala because sex with animals is still legal in those countries. And we should also take to the streets and also demonstrate outside their embassies.

I do love my meat, but when I next travel to Denmark, I will become a vegetarian – who knows who the cow, sheep, goat or pig has been sleeping with?



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