When You Start To Drool

Coming of age is the relishing of freedom, the freedom of being able to do anything without having a mum or dad to nag you. But the older you get, the more the complications – especially medical complications.

There were times I could party in Club Silk on a Friday night and walk out in the wee hours of Saturday at 8:00am, go home and sleep till noon. By 1:00pm, I would be out again and return home on a Sunday morning and at the same time that the first service was kneeling down for prayers in Christ the King Church.

Today, I can barely mange a few hours in Club Silk. By 11:00pm, I want to be home and in bed with a good book. But not being able to do that anymore does not worry me.

I have also noticed that the reflexes especially in my legs are not as sharp as they used to be. I get pains in my knees and sometimes when I stretch out my legs, I hear ‘clicks’ in the knees. But again, it’s something that does not worry me.

Reading has also become problematic that I can no longer see what I am reading – especially at night. Txt messages that come in at night are deferred to the following morning when there is ample light from the bright Kampala sun. But again, it’s something that does worry me. 

What really worries me is drooling. You see, three months ago, I woke to find that I had drooled all over my pillow. To be honest drooling disgusts. Drool is sticky, slimy and almost as slippery as nasal snot or phlegm. It leaves a slime trail across your faces just like a snail does when it crosses your patio. If that was not bad enough, what was appalling is that the drool had snaked its way past my ears and into my hair. Drool in my ears and hair? - Yuck!

Drooling is a thing that pathetic sad old men (and women) do. It’s a jajja thing and it reminds me of when were kids - the old man in our village who used to insist on giving us hugs whenever we went to visit and we would freak and run and hide because he was a drooler and the front of his shirt was drenched in drool.

When you start to drool, the message is clear for all to see - that you are no longer in control of your faculties and no one wants to sit next to you just in case you drool over them as you talk. Once the drooling starts, what’s next - bladder control problems? I have drooled three more times since then, that it has been a case of having to wake up early and getting rid of the drenched pillow cases before somebody notices and decides to pack me off to the village to join the other droolers. Another thing about drool, it does not easily wash out of the pillow cases. You need to soak them for a good hour or two to get the slime out.

Ok yes, I have accepted the white strands of hair on my beard and the few on my scalp, the knee issues and the sight problems. I can deal with all those. I honestly can. But drooling? I am hoping that it’s just a case of sleeping badly and not closing my mouth.

Thankfully my pillow cases were dry this Sunday morning when I woke up for I have discreetly bought some hospital type disposable plastic pillow cases. And people, let’s not broadcast this article those who missed it and we keep the issue between us. Thanks.