Saturday, February 7, 2015

When Women Throw Parties For Their Ovaries

Some men argue that women in their quest for liberation are taking matters a trifle too far. I am not one of them so I think. However in Saudi Arabia, Imam is up in arms because some women want to drive cars, a practice which for women is illegal in the kingdom while in Iran, Imam insists that if women are to play football, they must still wear the hajib.

In Pakistan, Cleric will behead his daughter for having a boyfriend while in Afghanistan, Taleban is disgustingly appalled that some families allow their daughters to go to school - an act they deem heinous and punishable by death.

In Uganda 2015, I think women do as they please, though it’s still a crime for them to talk about their vaginas in a monologue and in some cultures, eat the chicken gizzard.

Despite that, women still march forward. They started off with household parties - swapping kitchenware, then on to lingerie parties where they bought the skimpiest of underwear from women who had travelled abroad and brought back the latest offerings from Ann Summers.

They didn’t stop there. In came the sex toy parties where women who we (men) thought were prudish and shy like the ones who work for Sunday Vision, NSSF, Centenary Rural Bank and Sanyu Babies Home snapped up the toys to...hmmm, let’s leave it there shall we, followed by Senga and her explicit ‘how-to-pull’ parties.

With women blazing up the corporate ladder and holding down top jobs, they find themselves in a dilemma of having to juggle family aspirations against career ambitions.

Yesteryear they would have given up on a career due to the dictations of a ticking biological clock but, not anymore because an exit clause now gets them round that hiccup – ovum or egg freezing, and what’s more, is that they are doing it in style.

Abroad, women are not just going to see the doctor for a private consultation and leaving it at that, but throwing egg freezing parties. These parties have many of the same components as an Ann Summers lingerie party or Senga party – music, shrieks of laughter, wine, beer, nibbles and all set up in somebody’s home.

What women are forking out for after agreeing to attend one of these parties is not a new airtight container from the supermarket, but oocyte cryopreservation – otherwise known as a possible extension to the fertility sell-by-date: a batch of frozen eggs. One doctor throwing such parties in London is fertility expert, Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh whose patients call, “the egg whisperer” and whose attendees to her parties get a 10 per cent discount off the 
cost of egg freezing.

So why throw a party? Dr. Eyvazzadeh says: “The parties are meant to empower women to learn about their fertility, so they know what options they need to consider in the future.”

Egg freezing works with women having to inject themselves with hormones for 10 days before the eggs are harvested and it’s not cheap with London clinics charging £5,000 (sh21,500,000), plus an annual storage charge of £250 (sh1,075,000) and £6,000 (sh25,800,000) for the eggs to be re-implanted.

While egg freezing parties give women an opportunity to fulfil their careers and still have children, Taleban, Cleric, ISIS and Imam – basically men in general, don’t have sperm harvesting parties – probably because we are embarrassed about having to reveal how our sperms are harvested.

Plus from the depths of Mattuga, Muganda Man would flip and descend on Bulange while throwing stones and making noise for Katikkiro because his all important sexual machismo is being stripped away by an unjust wife who has refused to settle for menial jobs like being a receptionist or a secretary but, jeez, she wants to be a CEO and sit at the helm of the boardroom table!    

It's Time To Declare War On The Scroungers!

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