Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Do Women Need To Reconnect With Their Cats?

Father Simon Lokodo, so I understand, is minister of ethics and integrity and hazarding a snippet at what his job description entails, “something to do with society and behaviour?” 

I think.

Anyway, he has beef with we in the media for – Abanooya on Bukedde TV and Blind Date on NTV – which he states, “promote prostitution.” Hmm!

What about Senga who teaches Bride-To-Be about sex and how to please? Will he send the moral police to raid hen parties and have Senga, Bride-To-Be and Girlfie’s arrested and paraded at the Media Centre as the unacceptable faces of decadent women? 

Sticking on the Senga trail, I hear her lectures are quite risqué - risqué enough to burst open the pimples that still linger on the faces of the Namagunga and Gayaza girls from their school days. Though Senga concentrates on what women need to do for men, I think there is a need to send her abroad to catch a lecture or two by US and UK Senga on what woman needs to do for herself.

Nicole Daedone is the UK Senga behind orgasmic meditation (OM). In 2001, she launched OneTaste and today she has a worldwide following of just over two million. OM so Senga Daedone says is a ‘mindfulness practice that involves stroking the upper left-hand quadrant of the clitoris for 15 minutes without interruption’.

Writing in the London Evening Standard early this month, journalist Anne-Celine Jaeger, who attended an OM seminar said: “I’m staring down the barrel of a gun. This however, is not a fashion show and the gun is a vagina spread out before us like a lotus flower. The well groomed vajayay belongs to Claudia, who along with Marc, is about to demonstrate OM. Marc begins by ‘safeporting’ – touching her thighs and moving his fingers to the hotspot where he starts shredding (guitar speak). I like that, mbu shredding. Think about it.

So, what sort of people, go to Senga Daedone’s OM seminars? “It’s not perverts” says Jaeger. The seminars are not held in backstreet dingy hotels while looking at the emergency exits in case of a moral police raid. “Everybody was there from mid-twentysomething couples to divorcees in their fifties to young mothers.” In other words, Namagunga and Gayaza girls would fit in.

Senga Daedone’s lectures are not about sexual gratification. People sign up for different reasons from ‘yearning to truly connect to others’ or as one attendee bluntly put it: “I came to reconnect with my ‘young cat”. I couldn’t use the given word that is used when referring to a young cat because it would floor Father Lokodo, you understand?

What women get out of OM is a starting point that rises, comes down, goes up again and has no agenda and cultivates energy. It’s here, it’s there, it’s everywhere and the end is a symphony of highs, a confluence of individuals so harmonious, so in tune like Berlin’s philharmonic orchestra is. There is nothing phonographic about it. It’s like poetry, touching someone’s soul along with an increase of overall vitality, energy, libido and a reduction of stress. 

Jeez! Why can't women be like us men? All we men want is to be simplistic and focus our linear goal-orientated mission of sending ‘40 million+ swimmers’ up a canal with no highs of Moses Matovu on sax and the rest Afrigo Band belting out Jim, and having a serious crash once the mission is over.

Now you see why, Senga, Namagunga and Gayaza Girl need to pack their bags and get themselves to Park Crescent Conference Centre in London to connect with their ‘cats’? And we would be cool with it.

Am sure we would.

Seeing men can attend, Father Lokodo might want to tag along and see for himself in case he decides to ban the seminars before they hit dusty streets of Kampala, Bushenyi and beyond. 

NOTE: Sunday Vision censor board found this article too risque for publication  


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