Saturday, April 18, 2015

Like Jeremy Clarkson, M7, Kabaka, House-ee Also Make Job Demands

In the new job, there are people who have the clout to make demands before they sign on the dotted line. Those demands can be anything from setting salary, the kind of company car, entertainment allowance to first class travel. They have the clout to make those demands because most likely they have been headhunted and Headhunter needs them more they need him (Headhunter).
When most of us land a job, making demands is something we don’t do and quickly sign on the dotted line in case, HR decides “we are being difficult” and offers it to somebody else.
But that doesn’t mean we won’t make demands down the road once we’ve built up a power base and have the clout to hold the company to ransom.
When Jeremy Clarkson joined BBC’s Top Gear, he was a two bit presenter with zero demand clout, as did his co-hosts, Richard Hammond and James May. However, once the show took off and it became a huge earner for the BBC coffers, Clarkson, May and Hammond took hold of their clout and started demanding. And the BBC gave them everything lest they quit the show.
Such was their clout that while relaxing during breaks from hosting the Top Gear events, their demands bordered on the ridiculous. Ridiculous or not, the BBC obliged.
Requests included over 20 bottles of Veuve Clicquot Champagne, Cloudy Bay Pinot Noir, Sauvignon Blanc wine and a Chateau Leoube rosé which at Clarkson’s insistence, must be ‘pale dry and preferably southern France.’
If that runs out, they must have two dozen bottles of Peroni beer, Bombay Sapphire gin plus tonic, ice and lemon, all chilled in a fridge or cooler cabinet with at least four shelves.
Drinks must be served on linen covered tables, while a sofa must be provided with ‘enough room to seat six people, one of whom is 6ft 3in and likes to lie down’. They also insisted on Dove deodorant, hair wax, ‘nice rubbish bins’ and a coat stand – ‘NOT a rail!’
The relaxing rooms must have a rug if there are no carpets, mood lighting, a TV with a good speaker system, Sky Sports, movies, an array of films on DVD and green plants - ideally bamboo plus cartons of Marlboro Lights, Camel and Marlboro Menthol Lights for smoker Clarkson.
But it’s not only Clarkson, Hammond and May who make job demands. Closer to home, President Museveni, Kabaka Ronald Mutebi and House-ee have also made ‘demands’ though they waited till they had the clout before they made a move.
When M7 became president in 1986, he didn’t demand for a new Gulfstream private jet straight away. He made do with the one he was given when he took the job. But some years down the line when he felt he had enough clout, he made enough noise that Treasury relented and bought him a new one.
So did Kabaka Mutebi who didn’t really make any demands before he took to the throne. What he did was to wait till he was very solid in the job then started demanding that Government give him land, back rent, a palace here and there. Seeing that he had the clout, what did Government do? They caved in to his demands and gave him what he asked for.
House-ee has also gotten wind of the clout move. She waits till she gets leave and goes to the village where she chills beyond her due-to-return date. When she does that, what do we do? We make desperate calls to her, to her parents and aunts begging her to return then cave in to her clout by offering her a pay rise as well as sending her dime to bring her back to town.
If the demand gambit can work for M7, Kabaka, House-ee, Clarkson, May and Hammond, why can’t it work for us too? With that in mind, tomorrow, I’m not going to work until I get a call from HR telling me to go to Spear Motors to pick my new company ride. You hear me Boss?

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