Friday, August 28, 2015

Curse of Ex-Wifey Greed

“Greed is not merely ‘I want more’. Greed is ‘I want more than everybody else’” while in the 1987 movie Wall Street, Gordon Gekko, interpreted it as – “Greed for a lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies and cuts through the essence of the evolutionary spirit.”

We all have a ‘greed streak’. Some find it in power like Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe whilst former Filipino First Lady, Imelda Marcos, found hers in the 2,000+ pairs of shoes that she owned.

In Uganda, Gordon Wava’s greed streak is, wanting to own every Mercedes model that rolls off the production line while Sudhir Ruparelia, has his in commercial property.

My greed streak usually happens on a Saturday afternoon when five kilos+ of pork have been served at Chogm in Bunga. I kick my greed into overdrive because for every one piece of pork that I waffle down, my tight Nodin, waffles down three to four. 

When it comes to money, there are three types of greed – accumulating individual money, theft of public funds and the demands of Ex-Wifey.

Ruanne Dellal was a mere plebe until she became Miss South Africa and caught the eye of banking billionaire, Jack Dellal, 35-years her senior who probably said to himself: “I want some of that.”

While she didn’t have the brains, she had everything else - looks, body, a bust that didn’t require ‘scaffolding’ to hold it up, legs and a portable booty – compensation enough for lacking in brains don’t you think?

Jack on the other hand was stale malwa - old, short, stubby with looks could that could crack a mirror at 50 meters. Ruanne shouldn’t have given him a second glance but did, because he had what she didn’t – money. Not just lots of money, but billions of it, that he could fret away £1million at the roulette tables and not feel the pinch.

In 2012, he died a few months shy of his 90th birthday and at the reading of the will, the greed streak in Ruanne came to light.

He’d left her £15m. Her response? “How could he do that? He’s betrayed me. He’s only left me £15m!” The rest of his £400m fortune went to his six children from previous relationships. She didn’t have children with him.

Her greed spiralled beyond control that she’s dragged the children to court to fight for the remaining £385m because and wait for it, wait for it, wait for my drum roll - “I am the victim of a gross injustice!” She justifies her greed by telling us that before Jack died, he held her hand, told her not to worry because, “I would get more money than the children”.

Before I continue, it’s prudent that you send House-ee for a muzinga of Uganda Wa and lock up the cat lest you kick it in a fit of anger as you read on.

In the 25-years that Ruanne ‘put out’ to Jack, he in turn made her rich beyond her wildest dreams. She has a £40million+ portfolio which includes three houses in England valued at £8.5million, £3million and £5million. She also has a £1.1million house in South Africa, cars, jewellery, art worth £6million along with investments in the Middle East worth £26.5million.

And without batting her eyelids, she still has the nerve to bitch and greed about being left a ‘partly’ £15m!

On a good note, whilst I didn’t heed the advice I shared with you earlier and lock up the cat, Vet tells me that she’s on the mend and is expected to make a full recovery. In a fit of anger, I brutally kicked the living daylights out of her and all because of the Curse of Ex-Wifey Greed.

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