Friday, August 12, 2016

From Temper Tantrum To Melee

The painter Vincent Van Gogh, (Below) had a temper tantrum against himself when a painting he was working on, just would not come to light. Instead of pacing the room or banging the wall with his head like most of us would have done, he reached for a knife and hacked his right ear off and that calls for a ‘hmm’ don’t you think?

We all have temper issues – that unstable wire that has disconnected and flaps about in the head of even the most apparently sane person. We have all experienced temper tantrums which are defined as: ‘A desperate expression of rage against a perceived state of helplessness. While its normal to get angry and express that anger, the difference between expressing anger and having a temper tantrum, is that a temper tantrum is an excessive and irrational reaction to a  situation which we cannot control. 

Doc is a sane person. He has to be for he’s a doctor. In the time that I have known him, I have never seen him get angry. But if a melee broke out and I was with him, I wouldn’t see him as Kanyama backup, but as UN Diplomat cowering behind the notion of peace talks.

We were over at Nampeera’s in Soya having a drink. A polite drink that had Doc’s faculties in check when it came to adding up the bill and how many beers we each had. When Chap presented the bill, Doc saw the error and pointed it out him. However, when Chap came back with the abridged version, a bill which was much higher than the previous one, Doc threw scorn on it as he always does in such situations.

But this time, there was more than just scorn. There was a temper tantrum in the making. And without warning, it didn’t merely seep out. It exploded. It started with words of discontent and when they simmered, a melee proper in the form of kicking tables, chairs and knocking over drinks started. My jaw dropped. Maria behind the counter took cover and scrambled for her phone to make 999 calls to Cop while Chap who presented the bill fled. With my jaw still dropping, I sat back in shock at the temper tantrum that Doc was having.

Years back Kahinda Otafire (Below), was having drinks at Fairway hotel with colleagues including Sam Kutesa and Wifey. It was a normal run-of-the-mill ministerial drink up after a hard day dealing with matters of state when an argument began to brew. Ministerial arguments do happen but when tempers flare, they are extinguished almost as soon as they start - except this time because there was temper tantrum in the making. Otafire didn’t melee. He stood up, reached for his belt, took out his pistol and assured Kutesa and Wifey how he could shoot them.

In January 1995, Eric Cantona (Below), then playing for Manchester United got sent off in the 28th minute after a rogue tackle on Crystal Palace defender Rick Shaw. Walking down the touch line to the dressing room, Yob in the stand started taunting him (Cantona). Normally Cantona would have continued walking except, temper tantrum got the better of him when Yob called his mother a French whore. Not even Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan could have pulled the kung-fu kick that Cantona executed on Yob.

When the Pajero broke down in Kabalagala during rush hour traffic, Cop asked if I really knew how to drive. I should have ignored him and laughed it off, but and I guess, is there any need to tell you where I am headed? In case your slow, temper tantrum took over and suffice to say, I swung him a hot left that really connected and sent him sprawling to eat the tarmac.

When the dust finally settled, tempers had been harnessed and caged, Doc woke up to the reality of having been barred. Otafire resigned. It was the end of Cantona’s football career. And I spent the night in the cooler.    

Pictures: Internet, Daily Mail, New Vison

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