UGACHICK: Why does Aga Sekalala call the company Ugachick, yet they don’t sell chicks but fully grown chickens?
THE LIFT BUTTON: Am in Workers House with six other people waiting for the lift when Chap turns up, looks at us like we are morons and proceeds to press the lift call button which I might add, was lit thus meaning it had already been pressed. Twenty seconds later, Chap presses it again – four-to-six times in quick succession. Politely I lean over and whisper that no matter how many times he presses the button, the lift won’t move any faster and it won’t skip floors just because he has hit the button six times. He retorted by swinging me a “who the f**k do you think you are” look.
BY ORDER: Who is this person - By Order? You’ve all seen the notices in supermarkets, restaurants, offices and shops and at the bottom of whatever message is being conveyed, it’s signed off as ‘By Order’.
POLICE and TRIBE: Cop loves to know what tribe you are when filling out a statement. A statement without mention of tribe is not a complete statement to him. Does Cop think that when the case gets to court, it all hinges on tribe and without it, Judge will throw it out?
AM FEELING HEADACHE: “Am feeling headache”, is a favourite of Campus Girl especially, Akamwesi residents. Listen up Campus Girl and for the umpteenth time, it’s not “am feeling headache” but “I have a headache” or “I can feel a headache coming on.”
LEANING WAITRESS: The day I walk into a kafunda and Waitress does not lean on the table when she comes to take my order, I will swing her 20k!