Thursday, February 15, 2018

Is M7 The Best Qualified Person For Hangmans Job?

I don’t know how many people in Uganda are unemployed, but it’s a good number. And each year, the higher learning institutions churn out graduates who have no jobs to go to, while the secondary and primary schools let lose the dropouts to wander the streets looking in vain for what to do.

However, the reality of it, is that there are plenty of jobs except, some people are ‘greedy’ and hog them all to themselves.

The tale is told of how Deceased Tycoon who owned a now defunct bank, took his duties as owner a trifle too far. Rather than settling himself into a plush leather swivel chair behind a desk the size of a tennis court and holding court with officials from Bank of Uganda or CEOs of other banks, he wanted to do all the jobs in the bank.

Deceased Tycoon, when the hour hand hit 10:00am signalling coffee time, he would be in the kitchen monitoring how many teaspoons his employees were putting into their coffee or tea. If not, when lunch was served, he would avail himself and bark instructions to Tea Girl that it was strictly one piece of meat per employee.

Tea Girls
He didn’t have to double up as Tea Girl because she was perfectly qualified to do the job. But that was Deceased Tycoon. He felt that there was nobody at the bank who was qualified enough to know what they were doing and given the chance, he would have been Toilet Cleaner, Errand Boy and Carpark Attendant too. The one job he didn't appear to take on was that of being his own driver. There, he always had Driver to drive him about. 

Enter The Man With The Hat – M7 that is, who has a buffet before him. As president, he has to run the country, speak to world leaders, keep the army in check, travel to the United Nations in New York as well as keeping a close eye on members of the opposition.

President Museveni
However, with a buffet before him, like Deceased Tycoon, he still craves for more and wants to hog all the jobs for himself. Last week I think it was, he commissioned the sh35bn Manafwa – Tororo Lirima gravity water flow treatment plant. Before that, he had opened up Pearl of Africa hotel in Nakasero, thousands of primary and secondary schools, hospitals, clinics, roads, supermarkets, agriculture and energy projects, markets, shopping malls and telecom centres. The list is endless and yet, there are a number of people and dare I say, myself included, who are better qualified to open projects.

We could have let all that slide but no, there is a just need to berate him. You see, sometime in January, he boldly stated: “I will hang death row prisoners.” But wait up. The last time that happened in Uganda, was in April 1999, when Hajji Musa Sebirumbi and 27 others had their necks stretched.

The Words As Reported By Daily Monitor
Luzira Prison does employ Hangman and we presume he is the most qualified person for the job – I mean, if he can hang 28 men in one day, go home and shout “honey am home”, kick off his boots and flop himself in the couch without flinching, he must be exemplary good. But for the past 29 years he has been drawing salary for doing nothing. Are we to presume he ambles up to Luzira every morning, goes to the hang room, practises tying a noose, has morning tea and lunch then retires for the day?

Anyway, not content with opening schools and hospitals, The Man With The Hat now wants to ‘personally’ do the hanging yet, there is perfectly qualified Hangman who has hands on experience at hanging and I am sure is very eager to get back to work after doing nothing for the past 29 years. When he (The Man With The Hat) presents himself to Parliaments Appointments Committee for vetting, Commissioner of Prisons, Johnson Byabashaija should speak up and thwart the appointment so me think.

The Noose

Pictures: Daily Monitor, Agencies, New Vision

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