Friday, February 2, 2018

What, No More 'Pussy' For Grades At Makerere University?

Despite my laying it bare in the headline, the 'young cat' - if you get the so not sublime sexual innuendo, pussy no longer holds any value at Makerere University!

Makerere University Coat of Arms
Makerere University back in the days of yore, was the greatest higher learning institution in East Africa – if not, in Africa. In its thus 96-year-old history, some of its former students became great men and leaders - former Ugandan, Kenyan and Tanzanian Presidents - Milton Obote, Mwai Kibaki, Benjamin Mpaka and Julius Nyerere.

As the years rolled, Makerere started to lose its sheen that today, it’s just another of Uganda’s once great institutions that’s so hell-bent on snapping at the heels of Uganda Posts and Telecommunications, Uganda Co-operative Bank and Uganda Electricity Board by going to the dogs and dying an untimely death – yet, it can be saved.

I’ve never really been to Makerere University, save for an evening that I can only describe as a moment of utter temporary insanity when in the late 90s, I went to pick Squeeze for a disastrous date in which, she invited two friends to tag along – hmm!

I had transgressed but getting back, there is some chap called Barnabas who, am told heads the university and upon further investigation, I find that this Barnabas chap is not just a chap. So, there is a need on my part to proffer an apology and address him with due respect. He is Professor Barnabas Nawangwe and he holds the position of Vice-Chancellor.  Apologies Vice-Chancellor.
 
Professor Barnabas Nawangwe
It appears Prof Nawangwe has been jolted by the prospect of the university going to the dogs under his watch that he’s decided to do something about it. Last month, he boldly announced: “No more sex for marks!” - or something to that effect.

Can we pause a tad and delve into this sex for marks saga and see if it’s the real reason why the university is going to the dogs and how it works?

I presume that many of the finest lasses out of Budo, Gayaza, Namagunga and Nabisunsa for example, rather than knuckle down and actually read, they preferred the glitzy lights and all-night drinks in Panamera, Cayenne and Silk Liquid that when they fluffed the exams, rather than doing re-sits, they flashed succulent brown thighs, ample bosoms and more to Lecturer to pass?

Suffice to say, I have come across many women – and men who hold senior government and corporate jobs and who supposedly went to Makerere but incredibly can’t do the job. Those who filter into the media industry after having graduated with a degree in Mass Communication can’t even express themselves, think – let alone write a paragraph that’s of any sense.

Graduation Day
 Permission to enlighten you? Cool. Years ago, I summoned Reporter to my desk because I couldn’t make gist of what had been filed. Asking her to read through what she’d written and help me comprehend, she read through it twice, sat back, let out a ‘phew’ and without any hint of embarrassment turned to me and said: “What do you think I was trying to say?”

Without waiting for my answer which by the way, would have been along the line of “tumbavu” had she given me the chance to respond, Reporter simply picked up the story, slithered her booty back to the newsroom where I thought she’d recoiled to think about what she’d written and re-write it. She didn’t resubmit the story and the next time I saw her, it was in Silk Lounge looking ghastly plastered.

Reporter’s story did eventually run three days later – not in the Lifestyle Pages which I headed, but as a six-line news brief in the Home Pages. For her efforts, she got paid less than 5k for the six lines as opposed to the 70k+ she would have gotten if it had been a comprehensible read and run as a half page story in Lifestyle.

Might she be one of the girls that Professor Nawangwe, would think got her Mass Com degree in exchange for sex?             
      
Makerere University Main Building

Pictures: Makerere University

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