Friday, January 5, 2018

When Kale Kaihura's Police Get It Wrong

I have no issues with authority – authority being Uganda Police Force. I think many of them do a grand job and take the mandate of ‘protect and serve’ seriously. And they do so on a meagre pay coupled miserable working and housing conditions. On the other hand, some of them have fallen into the corruption trap while others use their uniform and Ak-47 to intimidate if not, to spread fear.
Entebbe International Airport
I was at Entebbe airport just after Christmas picking up my cousins – Mark and Sara and my nephew Edwin. As we loaded the luggage into the ride, two cops wearing black uniform were nonchalantly leaning on the ride in front of mine and watching us. Luggage loaded and as we take our seats, one of them shouts out: “Driver come here.” Mbu ‘driver come here?’ My retort was swift and to the point. “If you want to see me, you had better come to me.”

Police In Black Are Responsible For Security At Entebbe Airport
Obviously, he was not amused but lazily clambered over.

Cop: “Is this how you park a car?”

TB: “What the heck are you on about?”

Cop: “You can’t park half way into the next parking slot.”

Ah now that I got his gist, it was easy to explain why I parked as I did. So I told him.

“You see Cop, I parked according to the way the person before me parked. If the first person into the car park does not park properly into a bay, it means everybody else after him will park out of sync.” 

No matter how many times I tried to explain that rationale, he wasn’t having any of it. Exasperated, he lays down his trump card of - “let’s go to the station!”

With that, he walked round to the front passenger seat and found it occupied. Peering in the back, he finds all seats taken. But with an incredible sense of deluded authority, he asks: “So where am I going to sit?” Had Cousins and Nephew not been around, my first response would have been: “WTF!”

2nd Response: "Cop, are you on crack?”

3rd Response: “Please tell me you not looking to be stung by a hot left?!?”

Slicing a long story short, he had the nerve to assure me not to repeat the offence. Hmm - 'offence?!'

That same day but in the deep dead of the night, I drop off Friend. As we sit in the ride jazzing off the main road and outside the gate to crib, a bike roars up. The guy on the pillion is wearing the blue police windbreaker while the guy riding it and who did the talking is wearing blue jeans, a fleece and under it, a football shirt – Manchester United.     

Could He Be A Police Officer Disguised As A Prisoner? 
Wanting to know what where are doing, there was of course, the need to find out who they are. “Am a police officer” came the curt and intimidating response. Cool. So, we hit back – “before we go any further, may we see your warrant card?” Now this was the killer. He flashes the light of his torch at the police number plate on his bike. Hmm, because he’s riding a bike with police number plates, that’s identification enough? Worse, the other cop who was in uniform, couldn’t produce his warrant card either.

But he had a Plan B and a bad Plan B at that. He goes: “You call Buziga police post, Kabalagala police station or CPS and they will verify the bike.” Now check this one! It’s not the bike that needed verifying but the police themselves!     

With that, we told him: “Listen up, we have no inclination of calling round police station so if you can’t produce ID cards, you best hop on yer bike and be off.” With no retort forth coming, they did just that and skunked off into the dark.  So, what next? Err, over to IGP Kale Kaihura I guess…? 

Police Boss - Kale Kaihura

Pictures: New Vision, Daily Monitor, The Insider, Uganda Radio Network               


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