Would You Rather Have Your Kid In Greenhill Academy Or The Simanya Schools?

A few weeks ago, schools – especially Parent of Offspring who had sat P7 Primary Leaving Examinations (PLE) held their breath as Peep at the education ministry released this year’s results.

Every parent who had Offspring in the top schools - Budo, Mwiri, Gayaza, Namagunga… expected them to do well and the school to be ranked amongst the top performing. However, there is Parent who opted to give Offspring a private education in - Kabojja, Greenhill, Taibah and St Mary’s Kitende for example. By sending them to private schools, they expected Offspring to outperform the Budo, Mwiri, Gayaza and Namagunga lot. After all, private schools promised Parent that for the hefty fees, Offspring will get the best possible education, come top in class with the school being one of the best performers. But for many private schools and Parent, that script didn’t go to plan when PLE results were released. Offspring didn’t perform well and the private schools got trounced by unheard of schools.   

Fridah Tindyebwa has Beef With Greenhill Academy

Enter Fridah Tindyebwa, a parent, who opted to take Offspring to a private school – Greenhill for ten years. To say Fridah is angry, bitter and upset is an understatement. She’s seething! Venting her wrath on social media about the results she says: “Hearing all this poor performance saga of Greenhill, I point my issues directly to you - JV Maraka. Greenhill is a power house first class school were sons and daughters of the most comfortable parents go. Why would it perform poorly with all the fees parents pay? How can schools simanya - Kakooge, Kayunga, Nakasongola… get 4s and Greenhill just one 4? Tuli kuki wano?”

 

Is This One Of The Simanya Schools That Irked Fridah?

There’s more: “…you give a lot of homework to our children. You make class almost impossible by children arriving at 6:00am and class starting at 6:45 am. What’s all this nonsense? Fellow parents wake up at 4:00am panicking to get to school on time so their children are not locked out before 6:45 am when class starts. Look at the nursery class - babies coming at that time. They are stressed. They go home late and arrive very early - no resting time at all. No sports routinely for our children. All you do is work…..work…work.”

“Homework is a menace. A child writes the questions in the book and also write the answer. That is double working and malice including time wasting. Why not give papers and children write answers directly?”

 

The Simanya Schools Did Better Than Some Of The More Prominent Schools 

“All you do is send circulars of increment in school fees by 200,000k and that all fees should be paid at once - no bitundu. Who are you? Don’t you ever have bad times and borrow money from banks or even money lenders? Pick me up at my offices at the new URA offices if you want, naye tubakooye.”

Fridah has every right to be peeved. After all, she tells us that she works in URAs Nakawa skyscraper where I presume, she earns more than a decent salary and thus can afford to take Offspring to Greenhill. But she’s not getting the desired results.

URA Headquarters In Nakawa Where Fridah Works 

But what’s really venting Fridah? Is it forking out mob dime for a substandard education for Offspring or the having to get up at 4:00am, the annoying 200,000k fees increments, the embarrassment of going to Money Lender to get fees? Assuming the school had come top, is it plausible that Fridah would not have ranted about Offspring having to get up at 4:00am, the annoying 200,000k fees increments or going to Money Lender?

As we draw to a close, in today’s Uganda, is there not something called choice – the freedom to move Offspring from one school to another at whim? For 10 years, Faidah preserved with Greenhill instead of evoking the choice option and moving Offspring to the Simanya schools that excelled.

Photos: URN, campustimes.com, nilepost.co.ug, abingdon-rotary.org. monitor.co.ug

      

750k Trying To Get 'Some' This Valentine's - Who Does That?

If John Speke, Richard Burton and the missionaries had not come to Uganda, there is a good chance we might have never heard of Valentine’s Day. As it is, Speke, Burton and the missionaries did come to Uganda and along with them, Valentine’s Day this Thursday 14th.

 

Will Cupid Do The Needful This Thursday?

It’s said that every holiday serves as an aide-mémoire, to take time out and acknowledge something and that Valentine’s Day, is our reminder to stop the boring relationship routines and make special accommodation to the ones we love and dedicate the day to them to reconnect. Hogwash just!

  

My assessment of Valentine’s Day, is a few hours which men created for women - from chocolate hearts, teddy bears and roses which leaves them with a heightened sensitivity to romance. And it’s also no secret that men look at Valentine’s Day to capitalize on women’s vulnerability in hopes of entering a new relationship, but more importantly, to get rewarded with getting ‘some’.

 

Do Chocolates Expedite Getting 'Some'?

Men from Najjera, to Wandegeya to Rubaga and beyond who participate in Valentine's Day do it for that reason, but getting ‘some’ comes with financial implications that are conditional on one’s commitment level and how much you are willing to fork out. Take a look at her Valentine budget which, you are expected to cater for.

Salon: 200k 

Clothes and Accessories: 200k +

Dinner: Serena, Emin Pasha, Sheraton, Protea: 250k +

Fuel: 100k if Japanese ride

Total: 750k

In summation, in order to get ‘some’ on Valentine's Day, you need to have at least 700k + in the wallet. But if that figure doesn’t put you off, then going out to eat will. By now, just about every hotel and fancy restaurant has flooded radio, television and social media with sweeping romantic ads along the lines of: ‘Celebrate Valentine’s Day in a romantic and quiet setting with the finest cuisine while listening to serenading jazz music. Includes free bottle of wine.’

 

Valentine's Day Is Not About Love. It's About Getting Into Knickers

So you take the plunge and fork out 250k + for dinner at a swanky Kololo restaurant you’ve never heard of – not because you really want to, but because of that deal clincher in the advert – ‘includes a free bottle of wine’.

However, when you get there, it’s a problem finding parking because it’s full and Askari is of no help because the Premio doesn’t match up to the fuel guzzling 4x4 German rides. When you walk in, it’s far from being quiet and romantic because every couple who lives in Najjera is there including Couple who travelled down from Matugga. You can tell they are from Matugga because she’s wearing a scarlet red frumpy dress with black gloves, while he has a smug ‘I have arrived’ look.

Of course, you expect the restaurant to give you that personal touch – Waiter at your beck and call who you can shout at, abuse, treat like a dog and who will slaver at your every whim – after all, is it not your ‘entitlement’ because you forked out 350k?

 

250k + For Dinner?

It’s when you taste the free bottle of wine – one with a name that neither you, nor Waiter, let alone Date can pronounce, that you find that it’s a cheap plonk bought from Dealer downtown while the food is basic and Waiter is not slavering to your every whim.

That pretty much sums up the problem with Valentine’s dinner — no matter the location or budget, a full restaurant means more people talking, which leads to more people trying to be heard over the jazz band, that you end up spending the entire dinner listening to Neighbours’ conversation and shouting “I can’t hear you” to Date.

Hmm!

So, forfeit getting ‘some’ and spend the 750k in a Wandegeya, Ntinda or Bweyogerere 3k-a-beer kafunda where it will last a good number of days and not just a couple of hours.

Did Pastor Ssempa Fail Porn Committee Appraisals?

‘Probation’ and ‘appraisals’ are two words that most employees dread to hear. Regardless, they are the norm in just about every company. Let’s start off with probation.

Tow The Company Line During Probation 

If you have any doubts about the necessity of a probationary period for new employees, consider this research: 18% of new recruits fail probation (Opinion Matters survey, 2017). So without it, almost a fifth of a workforce are deadwood or airheads. Probation, is a trial period for newly recruited workers that lasts usually three months during which the new employee is tested to see if they can actually do the job.

On the other hand, an employee appraisal, is a review of a worker’s job performance wherein employees are evaluated on a regular basis - often once a year and helps remind workers what their managers expect in the workplace and provides employers with information to use when making employment decisions, such as promotions, pay rises, and sackings.

We All Get Appraised At Least Once A Year

When I joined New Vision, I didn’t join as a full-time staffer but, as a freelancer which meant, I was exempt from being put on probation and being appraised. It was only when Lilliane Barenzi who was then, the society editor resigned and I filled her position that I became a fulltime staffer. From then on, I was appraised on a yearly basis.

Enter Pastor Martin Ssempa who Wikipedia describes as: “A pastor, activist and founder of the Makerere Community Church. Pastor Martin Ssempa first came to international prominence in 2010 after a presentation video he made at his church which showcased his opposition of homosexuality went viral online.”

Pastor Martin Ssempa - Founder Of Makerere Community Church

Ssempa is a friend though we don’t talk much – not because we don’t want to, but because we move in different social circles. Getting back, in 2017 when Ethics Minister, Father Simon Lokodo appointed his 9-member porn committee headed by Dr Annette Kasimbazi, he also appointed Ssempa as an obvious choice to be on the committee because his stance against homosexuality is almost at fever pitch.

While I stand to be corrected, I presume members of the porn committee act as a censor board of sorts – in that they sit down in a dark bunker go through porn magazines, movies and nude selfies to determine what qualifies to be classed as porn. If it is classed as porn, they swiftly remove the material and perhaps arrest the people behind the porn.

Porn Cop - Father Lokodo Suspended Pastor Ssempa

Two weeks ago, Lokodo dropped a bombshell by suspending Ssempa for what he termed “under performance” which conveniently, brings us back to the preamble of today’s ramble - probations and appraisals. With the porn committee having been established in 2017, its obvious Ssempa did pass the probationary period because at most, probations don’t exceed one year - and two years have elapsed since his appointment so it can be that.

If it’s not probation, then it has to do with his appraisal and like it was mentioned in the preamble, employees are appraised yearly and thus we have to assume that when Lokodo appraised Ssempa, he found his (Ssempa’s) work did not meet the grade. So what could Ssempa have been doing wrong to be the only member of the committee not to have passed the appraisal?

How The Observer Broke The News

Did he not watch enough porn? Did he okay X-rated material to go out into the market rather than having it banned? Did he take porn videos home yet, it was against the rules? Or perhaps, he smuggled in friends to watch movies and look at nude pictures?

However, what has surprised most, is that I didn’t think it would be a male member who would be the first to exit. I always thought it would have been Dr Annette Kasimbazi who, would not have been able to stomach watching the filth and slime that porn offers on a daily basis. 

Photos: mi-dui-attorney.com; smordinlaw.com; pinknews.co.uk; The Observer