Do You Have Plan A, B, C, or D That Works?

Do you have a Plan A, B, C or D that works? There was an epoch when many presumed that a stint in the local police station is a preserve for Local Goon, Hooker and Petty Thief. That, was until they, – the police that is, started throwing White Collar type into cells when caught driving under the influence of alcohol.

Do You Have A Plan A, B, C and D?

In a bid to escape a weekend sojourn in the coolers, some decided to stay in the bar drinking until the following morning. Others, drank just round the corner from their homes. A few made sure they had bribe money at hand, while those who thought themselves as being brave enough to run the gauntlet did so. Let’s concentrate ourselves on Timothy (surname withheld), who ran the gauntlet because thought he had a Plan A, B, C and D.

Tim was in the know that a breathalyzer unit had deployed just outside Kabalagala police station. Seeing he was in Gaba and that he was heading back home to Ntinda, he sought to use the Kitalanga road – you know the winding backroad that takes you past Godfrey Kirumira’s cirb, Heritage International School and right up to the quarry in Muyenga? Except, that he was blazed and missed the turning.

But blazed drivers always have a Plan B and Timothy had one too. He would turn off at the next turning – Kiwafu Road which, would take him past Peter Kagwa’s Events Warehouse and eventually on to the quarry. Except, that he was blazed and missed that turning too.

Kiwafu Road Snakes Past Peter Kagwa's Events Warehouse

But blazed drivers always have a Plan C and Timothy had one too. He would turn off at the next turning – you know the murram road just before Kabalagala police station that takes you up the hill and connects you with the road that goes to Hotel Diplomate? Except, he was blazed and also missed that turning.

The Emergency Road - Diplomate Road, Links Muyenga To Gaggba Road

But blazed drivers always have a Plan D. He would turn off at the next turning – you know the one that leads you straight into the parking yard of Kabalagala Police Station, comfortably park his ride, walk into the station and ask to see OC. Except, that he was blazed but wait for it, wait for it - this time the Plan worked! 

So into the station he took his blazed self and demanded to see OC. When OC presented himself, Timothy duly asked him if his friend – let’s call him Julio for the sake of it, had been arrested and was being detained. Of course Julio hadn’t been arrested, but it was part of Plan D. After OC checking though the arrest book and seeing no Julio, Timothy duly informed OC that he (Timothy) would go and check at Katwe Police Station.

Kabalagala Police Station

Except, and unknown to Timothy, Plan D had already started to unravel. Taking his staggering and very blazed self back to his car, he tried to drive out - and here creeps in that word again – ‘except’, that strewn across the entrance at the Quarter Guard were spikes. Those who have driven into a police station carpark, will know that driving in is far easier than driving out.

As he tried to explain to Quarter Guard that he had been meeting with OC, Quarter Guard simply ignored him and shouted out to Affande who, was in charge of the breathalyzer road block just down the road: “Affande, affande, this one has made your job easy – he has brought himself to be arrested.”

With that, Quarter Guard had the car taken back and parked properly with Timothy being presented to OC and his name duly entered into the arrest log.

This time there was no Plan E – except, ruminate on how long a night its going be stuck in a cramped cell with Mitayimbwa Goon, Goat Rapist and Child Molester. 

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