Why Do We Always Want Money For Nothing?

Everybody wants to earn for doing nothing.

I was the last ride in a secure carpark and as soon as Askari saw me walk in, as short and as fat as he was, he still blabbered over to the ride – obviously to give the impression that he had been standing by it all night and keeping watch over it. To increase his chances of getting some form of remuneration, he engaged me in small talk.

Askari: “There was a time when thieves used to come and steal indicators, but not today.”

TB: “Is that so?”

Askari: “Tonight has been quiet.”

He was still jabbering when I got into the ride – something about trying to get a cup of tea but by then, I was already gone. Looking back at him in the rearview mirror, his face was one of disbelief. How could I not have tipped him especially since he had been ‘standing’ by my ride and looking ‘after’ it. But why should I have given him a tip? Does he not get a salary from the security company that he works for?

After asking around, Thomas was introduced to Semakula by Mukasa. Mukasa told Thomas that Semakula was the right person to do some house repairs he wanted done at his home. After interviewing Semakula, an interview in which Mukasa sat in on, Semakula was given the job. Once Semakula had departed, Mukasa leans in and boldly asks: “atte ebyange?” So, Thomas feigns ignorance and retorts: “what do you mean?” to which Mukasa and this time with more gusto tells him something along the lines that he was expecting a finder’s fee or some form of commission.

A while back, I was at Serena in Kigo where a multitude of wedding receptions were taking place. I was not there for a wedding but for fwala. Okay, I wasn’t there for fwala because I don’t do fwala but, I thought it would be a nice place to go and read a book. Seeing it was busy, two ladies – bride’s maids at that, asked if they could sit in the seats opposite me to which, I nodded in the affirmative. At some point we introduced ourselves and got involved in conversation which I might add, was rather interesting.

An hour later when they bade farewell to go to their reception, we exchanged business cards and ‘promised’ to keep in touch with each other. And when I got up to leave, I didn’t leave with her business card – much that we had an interesting conversation, she was not a person who would fit in my social circle.

Ten days later and I get a call. It was from Bride’s Maid and she was straight to the point. “I am going to a function in Entebbe but I don’t have any fuel. Can you please lend me 100k?” Now let’s put this tale into perspective. We are talking about somebody I had only met a days ago and for less than an hour. Since when did she creep into my friend zone to be comfortable enough to ask me for 100k and just like that?

When Musa was having electrical issues at home, he of course called in Electrician. After assessing the problem, Electrician informed the problem was something to do with the power supply from the transformer to his home and thus required the input of somebody from Umeme. When Chap from Umeme turned up, he made it out that it was a big problem and if given an ‘incentive fee’, the problem could be fixed in a matter of hours rather than the six or seven days it would take if put into the Umeme repair system.

And that’s how Uganda works. For the slightest favour given, we expect something in return.