When A Bout Of Temporary Insanity Hits....

There are, many out there, who don’t grasp the concept of ‘tongue-in-cheek humour’ and take what is written, as a direct attack. In this ramble, I expect many to do just that - take what I have written as a direct attack, but what the heck.

Until a few weeks ago, I’d never heard of Vincent Ssempijja. Leafing through his profile, nothing is out of the ordinary especially when it comes to education, for he holds a Master of Arts in Public Administration. He has also held a number of government jobs that today, he is the minister of agriculture.

Vincent Ssempijja

On the other hand, I have heard of Salva Kiir, the current president of South Sudan. Unlike Ssempijja, Kiir is known because of the Stetson he wears wherever he goes – even to bed most probably. Looking at his Wikipedia profile, there is no mention of his education except, somewhere in his teens, he joined the Anyanya battalion in the first Sudanese civil war.

So how do Ssempijja and Kiir connect? They both made utterances when the brain was not connected or plugged in. In other words, ‘the wires’ were off.

Ssempijja decided he wants to issue all animals with birth certificates – that “every calf will be given a certificate at birth." The registration targets domestic animals including, cows, sheep, goats, pigs among others. For the record, a birth certificate is a vital record that documents the birth of a person. In this case, won’t farmers be in a fix, because the legal portion of the certificate shows the child's name, date of birth, parents’ names, sex, place-of-birth of the child, father’s name, place-of-birth, mother’s name, place-of-birth and occupation among others. So how are farmers supposed to determine which bull in the kraal sired the calf?

Is This What The Certificate Will Look Like?

On the other hand, Kiir directed that the country’s national anthem does not belong to the nation or its nationals, but to him alone as president. You see, Kiir is peeved off that everybody is playing it and he can’t understand why so he sent his information minister to issue a statement that in part reads: “For the information of everybody, the national anthem is for the president, and functions attended by him.” Hmm. Next, is he going to say the national flag and treasury belong to him too? And their anthem won’t get played at sporting events overseas.

Salva Kiir

Of course, I think both Kiir and Ssempijja belong in strait jackets and locked up in sound proof rooms so nobody can hear them. However, there is a loop hole that might just allow them to continue uttering their nonsensical utterances and that’s by pleading temporary insanity.

If they plead that, the law requires that Ssempijja and Kiir be evaluated by competent mental health professionals - like the men in white coats at Butabika Hospital. After completing a psychiatric evaluation, Shrink will testify regarding their probable mental state at the time they made the unfortunate utterances.

The testimony of Shrink who examined Ssempijja and Kiir must, answer the questions of law, and allow the public to decide whether the testimony and other evidence in the case allow for a finding of temporary insanity. Those questions that must be answered by the expert witness include:

·       Were Kiir and Ssempijja unable to tell right from wrong, or did not understand that what they said was stupid, irresponsible and thoughtless because of a psychiatric or psychological illness?

·      Were Kiir and Ssempijja, because of psychiatric illness, were unable to control their impulsive behaviour and spoke without engaging brain first?

·     Because of a specifically diagnosed mental illness, Kiir and Ssempijja could not understand the public ridicule and outcry of their actions.

The Men In White Coats

While Shrink has yet to make his findings public, the men in white coats are on standby to cart them away. 

Photo Credits: kshaf3.wordpress.com, observer.ug, eagle.co.ug, Daily Monitor