For Flag, God and Country

There is a strong need for me to apologize to the nation for I failed you last Sunday. I was in England for the London Marathon and I am afraid, I did not do as well as you all had expected.

Well, I wasn’t really in London for the marathon but, I was there in spirit. I watched it on television in The Viking Bar at Speke Resort Munyonyo along with three South African’s and two Englishmen over bottles of beer. They were drinking Nile Special and I was on Heineken of which, our home brewed Nile Special is the stronger brand.

By the time the lead runner had gone past the one kilometre mark, the South African’s, the English and I, were neck and neck via our beer intake. At the eight kilometre mark they had opened a slight lead – they were two bottles ahead and from then on, I was always on the back foot playing catch up.

Halfway through the race and with them showing no signs of slowing down, I got second wind but it didn’t help. As the runners came up to the finish line, they had a commanding lead of almost six bottles each.

I have to admit that I was embarrassed. They were drinking Nile Special which is a strong brand and I am sure the following day, they also woke up and went to work while I, who drank the moderate Heineken, had to take the day off because I had a hangover.

I know you all hate me and would probably spit at me if you saw me. I feel bad – terrible in fact, because I should have done better them because they had beer bellies and were seriously unfit.

But, I am not the only person who embarrassed Uganda on the international scene last week. According to Mumbai Mirror, an Indian newspaper and an article written by Mary Karugaba in last week’s Sunday Vision, Isaac Musumba, who was once a minister and MP for Igara West, was arrested in India over charges of alleged extortion.

But wait a minute. Musumba, was a former minister not so? As he was, he of all people should have known how the system works. What on earth was he doing in the time that he spent in government? You don’t get into politics to work for the nation. You go into politics to help yourself to donor money.

Musumba should have understood the system and how it works before he went to India. He should also have consulted The Manual which, is a politicians must read – because it gives the pitfalls, the in’s and out’s of how to put a case forward, how to get the money and more importantly, how not to get caught.

$20million is a lot of money. It would have set him up for life. And he also would have joined that famed list of politicians who managed to get away with it.

Had all gone according to plan, we would have held him in high esteem because he would have been one of the first Ugandan’s to go and get his dime from abroad and not through sending a note to the accounts office or to the PS as is currently the norm.

Like I said earlier, I failed to properly represent Uganda at the London marathon. Musumba too, failed to bring home the $20m when he represented Uganda in India and ended getting caught.

Musumba and I hold our heads in shame and we ask for your forgiveness. We should have done better for Flag, God and Country.