Wednesday, April 17, 2013

It's A Man's Right To Lust After Chicks In Mini Skirts - Period!

If, I was asked to go live and work in Iran, I would have come up with a better option. I would ask to be given 1,000 strokes of the cane.
There is no way I could live in a country where the ‘morality police’ run riot. I read somewhere that they have road blocks to deal with ‘offenders of morality’. For example, if you are on a bus and look at a woman in a lustful manner, she has the right to stop the bus at the next road block where you are removed, tried, found guilty and promptly given the stroke of the cane.
I wouldn’t live in Afghanistan or Pakistan either because the Islamic zealots are so messed up that they might just chop my arm off for the simplest of mistakes. And I also wouldn’t live in North Korea because, I am not sure what Kim and who looks like a living version of the Michelin man would do next.
But I would live in Malawi seeing that, Kamuzu Banda, the nation’s first president died years ago. If I recall, during his reign, men were not allowed to wear shorts. I don’t know why and when I asked Google, he too didn’t know.
When I was still living in England, I got a summer job at the Henley Royal Regatta. The old buffoons who run it still live in the 18th Century that getting into the royal enclosure is no easy affair. Women are not allowed to wear trousers or callouts. But get this, if they wore a dress or a skirt, the hem must be at least an inch below the knee. If the people manning the entrance were not sure, they would call for the head prefect who would duly whip out his tape measure, take the necessary measurements and either allow you in or throw you out.
Closer to home, somebody has decided it is so not cool for women to be walking about town in miniskirts and is there any need for me to tell you what they want to do? They want it to be made illegal.
I really don’t give a hoot if women’s rights are being infringed upon. That is their issue. What I care about, are my rights. My right to ogle. My right to enjoy an afternoon of ‘optical nutrition’. My right to drool string-lets of saliva at the sight of a woman in a miniskirt.
The MP’s wants to infringe on my human rights. On many occasion, I have had no need to go into town or to a Bebe Cool or a Ragga Dee concert. But, I do go to assert my rights. I do go, because it is man’s god-given right to drool at women in miniskirts.
Female flesh is there to be admired by us men except the lunatic men in Afghanistan, Iran and Saudi Arabia who order their women to cover up perhaps because female flesh scares the hell out of them.
But, I am not going to be intimidated by some chap just because he has the words ‘MP’ after his name.
Women of Uganda, I am with you but for my own reasons which, is my right to lust at you in a miniskirt.
And to the MP’s who can’t deal with having our Ugandan women in miniskirts, the solution is a simple. Get the hell out of Uganda and go live with the zealots in Saudi Arabia, Iran or Afghanistan. Do you now see which miniskirt I have just slithered out of? Oh, you do? Thanks!        

It's Time To Declare War On The Scroungers!

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