Kamoga, Kassim and Inzikuru, Please Return The Ugandan Flags - Thank You!

Some years ago, a colleague, James Odomel introduced me to a waif young thing called Dorcus. I can’t recall her surname this early into the article but I am sure that by the time I am done, I would have remembered.

What I remember about her, is that whenever she smiled, she showed all her teeth and her so-not-pink-gum and my conversation with her was limited to: “Hello Dorcus”.

A few years after that meeting, there was a commotion that went on when she and ah, I have just remembered her surname – Inzikuru, won the gold medal at the last Commonwealth Games.

When she came back to town she was the heroine and everything went to her head. She went on the cover of Keturah Kamugasa’s Flair magazine. She was an inspiration to women. She was also in Arua, her home town overseeing the construction of her crib which had been paid for by the government. She was also getting laid that she, popped a tot as well as having a few public brawls with Baby Daddy. She was doing everything she was supposed to do except one thing – to train.

Naturally when she next raced in Europe, she assumed she would just waltz into the gold medal position. Ha! She was nowhere to be seen.

Which leads us to believe that, Uganda is a nation of athletes who are ‘one run’ wonders because they are so consumed by the highlife instead of reinvesting whatever gold medal they have won into getting the next. Now Dorcus is a spent ‘has been’ waif who will never win a major race again.

Before her, there was the boxer John ‘the beast’ Mugabe who in the 80s, got a hefty pay cheque when he took on Thomas Hearns. When he came back to Uganda what did he do? Wait for it, wait for it…he didn’t go to the gym to prepare for his next fight but rather, he lived the highlife in Ange Noir and the rest as they say, is history.

Remember Kassim Ouma? He too had a glittering career ahead of him but nah, he couldn’t be bothered to train because romping in the sack with Juliana Kanyomozi was a better option and now he is a – what do they call it? A ‘has been’ as is that athlete who won silver in the Barcelona games – what was his name? Davis, oba Davis who? You see my bran can’t recall one race wonders.

Oh, there is Steven Kiprotich who did us proud when he won Uganda the gold at the last Olympics in London. But what did he do for us last weekend at the World Championships in Moscow? What the brief required of him for the won the marathon gold.

He sniffed the gold because he did not let his prison promotion, being on the cover of Flair magazine or the sh300m or so that was raised for him go to his head because he was busy training.

Uganda does not need people like Davis or Dorcus or Kassim who come and go in seconds. Uganda needs people who can last, who can stand the test of time and who can go on to achieve more than just one gold medal or boxing belt.

You see, there is plenty of time once they have achieved and retired to have kids, to romp with Juliana and to count sh300m in the bank.

In the meantime, Davis, Dorcus and, Kassim, the Ugandan flag you were given to do your victory lap, please return them a.s.a.p so we can give them to Kiprotich who is more deserving. By the way I have just been told that Davis, his other name is Kamoga. Do any of you remember him? I didn’t think so.