Saturday, May 2, 2015

Sista, Ugandan Men Are Brilliant!

Ugandan men, we are brilliant. Seriously, we are. We are a  president, kings, mayors, captains of industry, nightclub owners, distance runners, while our brothers in the western world invented just about everything from philosophy, medicine, architecture, telephone, trains, and the internet.

And we’ve also shown our global insanity with Boko Haram, Joseph Kony, Bin Laden, Adolph Hitler, ISIS and SA Xenophobia.

The Uganda we live in today would be nothing without John Akii-Bua, Milton Obote, James Mulwana and William Kalema or Bendicto Kiwanuka, YK Museveni, William Nadiope and others who have all contributed immeasurably to our modern lives.

So why, is it that today, we men are being put down by Sister? Dissing men and everything we stand for is a not only a Ugandan woman thing, but fashionable to millions of women round the world. +

If we do something well, we are told it’s because as men, everything was handed to us on a plate — at the expense of the females in the family who, were forced to drop out of school so their fees could be used to send the boys on to have a good education — and not because we’re skilled and work hard.

If a young Kivumbi is seduced by his female teacher, it’s brushed away. But if a young Jacinta has an affair with her male teacher, off to Luzira he goes and faster than Miria Matembe, can whip her feminists into frenzy by shouting: “Let’s go riot and burn our bras”.

Women’s issues are at the forefront with government funding. They have, voices who will stand in their defence while we, have nobody. We are of no interest to MPs, charities, UN or AU panels. If we want somebody to fight our corner, we have to have to do it ourselves.

Mothers like to nurture the baby they’ve been carrying for nine months, while we work – which is ok. Women carry life so we provide for that life. That’s our identity as fathers and what we bring to the table. It’s been like that way before John Speke ‘discovered’ the source of the Nile. When we get home and spend time with our children, we give it our all, but still get put down.

Today, women are in high paying URA, Price Waterhouse and KCCA jobs. So why are we men still expected to pay for nights out to Silk Lounge, Ange or Ntinda for pork – or for those things that don’t concern us like tampons or visits to the salon? Men have lost count of the number of times they have sat in KFC, Panamera or Sheraton observing fellow man financing dinner while, Sista looks away and points her nose in the air when the bill is presented — even though, she is on talk time and not pay-as-you-go, has a company ride and earns in excess of sh8m take home.

That’s why we don’t show our chivalrous side. We want to hold doors open for our women, but if we do, it goes to her head in an absurd way and she gets mputu, so we’ve chilled that line though, it would have been a respectful gesture to do.

Men – from Mawokota to Paidha, Kaabong to Kabwohe and beyond, are not bemoaning the successes of the Jennifer Musisi’s or Allen Kagina’s, but asking that a dude be given some respect, because at the moment, we’re being ‘de-toothed’ on a grand scale — like when we invite Sista out (alone) but she turns up with three bitchy friends who we are supposed to cater for, then drop home in the depths of Naalya yet we live on the other side of town – with not even a thank you in the offering from them.

Dudes, are you with me on this?

Bank of Under Mattress, Bank of Mayuuni Plantation Still Open For Business!

Just in case you didn’t know this, Bank of Under Mattress, Bank of Inside Toilet Cistern, Bank of Under Floor Board and Bank of Mayuuni Pl...