Saturday, July 25, 2015

It's Not Womanly To Tamper With The Surname

Is it just me or are there men out there who feel that our masculinity, our maleness has been invaded by women and we are doing nothing about it because in today’s world order, if we did make noise, it would be deemed a politically incorrect thing to do?

Don’t get me wrong, for there are women in roles that were deemed the preserve for us men but, they (women) have done the job better - KCCA executive director, Jennifer Musisi, is one who has done more for Kampala than her male predecessors did as mayors.

However, why can’t there be jobs that are women only jobs and men only jobs – jobs where neither sex encroaches on the other’s turf, so we men don’t have to tiptoe about with trying to be politically correct?
Women have fine feminine slender bodies but are not content. They want to be butch – like we men, that they pump iron to have a body like that of Ivan ‘Mr. Kampala’ Byekwaso – if not, like Rambo’s, Moses Golola’s or that of Vin Diesel.

Some figure that if men can have beards and moustaches, so too can women and went the extra mile by growing chest hair and armpit growth. Others want to belch, pass wind loudly and pee whilst standing up and in the bush like we men do after a pork and beer session in Ntinda. if not, they want to use their fragile teeth which really were designed to opening chocolate wrappers and nibbling into roadside made mandazi’s and not for opening beer bottles.

They play rugby not because they like the game, but so they can grunt and groan in the maul and scrum like we men do. They want to wear a codpiece - not that they have any reason to, so they play cricket. They wanted to play football and worst of all, they want to hurl the shot put! We let them do all that - things that the manufacturer in heaven had designed for we men and gave them a ‘Made for Man’ label but which when pointed out to women, it had them screaming “...you sexist bigots” so we relented.

Men don’t throw tantrums about not doing women things. We don’t make fuss because we don't have 'that time of the month', or because we don't play netball, kwepena, or rage if the toilet seat is left ‘up’ - the way it is supposed to be and not ‘down’. And we were okay with not contesting in Miss Uganda. And we don’t complain when Silk, Ange or Rouge, give women free entry while we have to pay. 

We men have to unite and claw back the ground lost to women because they (women) are taking liberties. Take Catherine Zeta-Jones for example. She is a successful actress who is married the actor Michael Douglas. However and what irks us men, is that she has gone and tampered into the heart of our soul and done the unthinkable - something that goes against everything that is man. She insisted that her daughter - Carys, will be known as Carys Zeta-Douglas, and not Carys Douglas as it should be.

From the onset and perhaps well before Adam started sniffing round Eve, it was written that offspring will use their dad’s surname with no additions. Hence I am Timothy Bukumunhe and not, Timothy Sendi-Bukumunhe (Sendi being mums maiden name).

Some married women - like Zeta-Jones, see themselves as Ms, not Mrs, don’t use their husbands surname while others opt to double barrel as in, using their maiden surname along with that of their husband. While it’s not the way it should be, we men have let it slide.

Call me sexist or a bigot, but men have to make a stand and let it be known to women that there are sections of the world order that are not to be tampered with. Insisting that offspring use their mother’s surname in addition to their dads, like Catherine Zeta-Jones has done to her daughter Carys, is simply not on - period! Chaps, you with me?

You're Fired!

And just like that, it all comes to an end - your job that is. Some are fortunate enough to work to retirement age when, the office throws...