Saturday, August 1, 2015

Twins Want A Party - So Will Prostitutes, Psychopaths and All

Everybody wants to celebrate and party. In the old world order, Friday and Saturday nights were the designated party nights until somebody got the idea of having parties on the eve of any public holiday. When that was not enough, we went “heck, let every night be a party night” that today – at least in Uganda, every night is party night or a reason to celebrate.

Still in the old world order, we used to party or celebrate because there was a valid reason for it. As a nation, we had every right to celebrate and party when we attained independence in 1962. The athlete John Akii-Bua also had every right to celebrate when he took the gold medal at the Olympic Games as did the boxer, Ayub Kalule with a gold medal in the Commonwealth Games. If not, Parent would throw Tot a birthday party but, once they were three-years-old, they were deemed to be too old for them. Other parties that were thrown were for something as significant as a jubilee wedding anniversary.

As much as I like to party, there is a need to go back to the drawing board with the Party Definition Committee to define what constitutes a need to celebrate or a party being thrown because today, it has gotten all out of hand.

Any excuse for a party then a party it is. Going abroad for the first time? Throw a party. When Tot shows its first set of teeth, Parent throws a party. Circumcising Tot? Throw a party. Tot leaving child care to join kindergarten, throw a party. Getting that new Samsung S6 Curve phone? Throw a party. A place at Makerere? Again, throw a party. Getting Boyfie? Throw a party. Getting laid? For sure throw a party!

And then there are the people – usually white folk, who throw parties and celebrate for bizarre reasons. White Folk throw parties because it’s Full Moon Night, World Population Day, Sanitation Day, Plant-a-Tree Day, World DVD Day. A few years ago, I was invited to a party – World Footpath Day and White Folk threw a party because he had paved the footpath from the main road to his house.

Okay, so I made up World Footpath Day, but, the rest do exist as do World Mining Day, World Peace Day, Cancer Day, even Water Day and of course Valentine’s Day.

Early this week, an e-mail from the editorial desk at Sunday Vision popped up telling me that today has something to do with World Twins Days or something to that effect and could my column be based around that? “No!” was my intended response but I don’t think the boss - Dr. Wendo would have been amused.

What’s wrong with the world? People throw parties for trees and sanitation so now twins, triplets and quads also feel they need a party? I am sorry, but this calls for a rant because so what they were born twins or triplets? And throwing parties for trees, sanitation, mining or whatever will have the men in white coats at the doorstep.

So what next - World Prostitution Day, World Psychopaths Day, World Susu Day, World Siamese Day? Like I said at the start, I do like to party, but within reason. And while I am not a twin, even if I had been invited to the twins’ party today at Hotel International in Muyenga, I wouldn’t normally have gone.

But today I have made an exception because the thought of spending the day gawping at them and trying to guess which one is the psychopath, do they loath each other, have they ever said – “Hey that person looks just like me - they are even wearing the same clothes,” justifies a reason to party. 

Well I think it does – until the man from Butabika comes and knocks some sense into me. 

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