"How did the interview go" - I
ask. A pause then: “It went well and one thing that Employer wanted to know,
was if I had the ability to ‘think outside the box’.”
Years back, it wasn’t about
thinking outside the box because Employer didn’t need that kind of employee.
Rather, he wanted people with multi-tasking skills.
Just to make sure we are on the
same page, Google defines multi-tasking as: “The ability to perform multiple
tasks during the same period of time, which are executed concurrently in overlapping
time periods with new tasks starting before others have ended instead of
sequentially one completing before the next starts.”
Many people proclaim that they
can’t multi-task, but can. They do it every Saturday at wedding receptions –
almost without thought because they have ‘the ability to eat cheese cake
dessert in the middle of the lamb curry main course or being able to combine
the soup starter with the other dessert option – chocolate ice cream.’ That is
multi-tasking – not waiting for one course to end before starting the next.
The worrying aspect about
multi-tasking is that we become smug and aloof that often, we fall victim to
our effective ability at doing it. I know that didn't make sense, but you will
see why Employee gave up on people with multi-tasking skills and opted for
those who think outside the box.
A couple of years back, Young
Man was arrested in Romania for using an electric saw to slice his mother to
pieces. All would have gone well for him had he not chosen to multi-task. He
decided to watch television as he diced Mother into cubes that he didn’t notice
the cord tangling up his arms. Apart from dicing Mother, he also ended up
sawing off his foot.
In Paris, USA - yes there is a
Paris in the US, Chap clobbered Wifey and Toy-ee to death then doused them with
petrol to burn. His intention was to burn them then flee while smoking a
celebratory joint - until he thought about multi-tasking. As he gathered their
remains, he lit up the joint, tossed the match to the floor and unaware that he
too was also doused in fuel, he flared up like House-ee’s sigiri and suffered
third degree burns.
Closer to home, there is Pompi.
Rather than send a txt to one recipient at a time, he multi-tasked - while
deeply engaged in a raucous conversation and sending txt messages to three
different people. Is there any need to tell you what happened next?
After dropping OPP to his
Buziga home at 2:00am, I too multi-tasked – opening a bottle of TML with my
teeth, changing CDs, trying to pick up the phone up from the floor and all
while driving. Naturally, I lost control and drove into a swamp where the ride
began to sink.
And at Deputy Speaker, Jacob
Oulanyah’s wedding reception in Speke Resort Munyonyo last year, If only
Policeman had not multi-tasked – he ate dry cheese cracker biscuits while
eating the main course – Irish potatoes, beef stew, nakati, grilled fish plus
more. Then he choked and scurried off to spew his vomit into Lake Victoria.
But the winner in all this has
to be Billy Goat. You see, Billy Goat got the horn just as the herd was about
to cross the highway near Wobulenzi. Rather than stifle the urge till he got
across the highway to mount She Goat, guess what he did? He multi-tasked and
tried to mount her as they crossed the busy highway! So smug and aloof he had
become that he didn’t notice the speeding Fuso fuel trailer which mowed him down and
turned him into highway muchomo - much to Vendors delight.
Pictures: New Vision, Bryanston Pictures, Internet
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