Thursday, December 28, 2017

We Are Rich - M7 Said: "Poverty Ends Today!"

This is my last ramble of 2017, and to be honest, I am a tad worried – not what 2018 might hold, but about the poverty that January brings. You see, Accountant had a meeting with Second Accountant and between them, they decided that December salaries will not be paid at the end of December but, before Christmas - on or about December 23rd.

Second Accountant then meets up with Third Accountant, who told Fourth Accountant and just like that, it went viral. The world all over, December salaries are paid on December 23rd. Seeing we were paid on the 23rd, don’t bother going to the ATM on Tuesday expecting to find your account flush. And don’t go to Accountant when you go back to work asking why December salaries have been ‘delayed’.

Accounts Is All About Figures And Payroll
However, worry not because out there, there is a man who has a vision that will get us through January and the rest of the year. The Man With The Hat, who has been at the helm of this country for a number of years has all the answers. According to a headline by our (New Vision) rivals in Namuwongo, The Man With The Hat, promised to end poverty by the end 2017. Is that not just cause to celebrate? It is! While I was not there when he made the promise, I have no reason to doubt our rivals got it wrong and printed ‘fake news’.
The Pledge M7 Made Which Ends At Midnight Tonight
Although I am happy that come tomorrow I will no longer be poor, there are four pertinent questions I need to ask him. 
  • Nobody has been to see me to ask for my bank account details. Why?
  • Was I supposed to have gone to Kololo airstrip to register?
  • How much will I get?
  • When do I get it and from where?

If he doesn’t come through for me, it would not be cool at all. I mean, how does he expect me to survive through January because I have blown most – if not all of my December pay. And the reason why I have already blown the December pay is because I was reckless and fritted it all away on have a good time.

The Man With The Hat is at the helm. When he sneezes, the whole country sneezes. He also goes to church and while he may have told a small fib here and there, why would he have fibbed about ending poverty today?

But wait up. Do you think by my referring to him as The Man With The Hat, it may have annoyed him that I am now in the doghouse with him? Could he use that as an excuse to tell the peeps at Finance not to pay me?

But regardless of whether he is annoyed or not, I am not going to start of 2018 in poverty. He made a promise. And yes, he’s made many promises over the years – many of which have been broken and I have sort of let them slide.
Will The Man With The Hat Fulfil His Poverty Pledge?

But on the ending poverty promise – NEDDA! I want my money just like everybody else is also waiting for their money. Am not making threats here but if I don’t get it, I might just take to the streets and start being a nuisance. However, all can be solved amicably if by midnight I get that all too important call or WhatsApp message telling me to be at Ministry of Finance by 9:00am, Tuesday 2nd January.

And Accountant listen up, come this December, please don’t pay me, Julio, Oscar, Doc, Kayos, Paulo and especially Nodin before Christmas – because we don’t want to go running The Man With The Hat in 2019 pleading January poverty. Otherwise, a blessed 2018 to you all.  

Pictures: Daily Monitor, New Vision, Agencies


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