Saturday, March 24, 2018

M7s 'Kafunda' Rant Was Wrong And Unfortunate

I’m not keen on predictions, because often they turn out to be wrong like that of my colleague, Toronto based New Vision columnist – Opio Oloya, who was so certain that Hilary Clinton would succeed Barack Obama as the next president of the US. Unfortunately for him, he got egg slapped on his face because if memory serves me correct, his column was published the same day the elections results came out and as you all know, it was The Donald who had been voted in and not Clinton.

Looking further back down the corridors at prophecies that didn’t come true, another colleague – Kalungi Kabuye, in April 2012 under the headline - ‘Death of The Kafunda’, he predicted the demise of the kafunda. Thus, he wrote: “It is with outmost sadness that we announce that the kafunda, that very Ugandan of creations, is dying; and in many places and instances has already died.” He went on to add that: “Wandegeya market was broken down to make way for a modern market. The destruction of the Wandegeya kafunda marked the beginning of the end.”

What Wandegeya Market Looked Like Before It Was Demolished
One thing he did get right was when he said: “The kafunda became the centre of socialising and it was the place where many deals were made. Soon they became like membership clubs, and had their own executives and chairpersons. Members had their specific places to sit and it was common to have their own glasses that nobody else was allowed to use.”

Kabuye got the demise of the kafunda wrong because looking round in 2018, kafunda culture still exists and is stronger than ever.

Getting back, at the recently concluded EAC Summit in Munyonyo, The Man With The Hat, had this to say: “Our organisers are always determined to inconvenience our guests. They have bought us to this kafunda without air-conditioning.” Hmm.

I don’t think The Man With The Hat has been to a kafunda because there is nothing erroneous with taking your guests to one. I took some guests from outside countries to my kafunda and they embraced it! They found it real and fascinating. They marvelled at the way I had a glass that was for my sole preserve and which, when I was done, was washed, put back into its box and locked away in the cupboard. 

This Is What The Man With The Hat Had To Say
They gaped at the way I had my own road facing seat and it scattered them. They all looked on in awe when Chairman arrived and Chap, sitting at the head of the table quickly ejected himself because its only Chairman who sits in that seat and at the head of the table. And heck, they recently installed a ceiling fan and Regular rebelled and threatened to boycott the place because he felt the kafunda was in danger of becoming posh and would lose its identity!  

In the kafunda, Waitress has mastered the art of knowing exactly what we want and when we want it which Waitress in Sheraton, Serena don’t. She knows she has to serve the regulars ahead of the ‘drop-in’s’. She knows what we eat and when it’s time to summon Pork Roaster. And she knows the television set has to be switched to Bukedde news come 7:00pm.

President who flew in for the EAC Summit, is bored of being in Munyonyo or Sheraton and stuffed in dining rooms where he can’t chill and be ‘as if’ yet, all he wants is to be able to go pee by the carpark wall like it happens at my kafunda, buy nail clippers or a packet of sh100 binyebwa from passing Hawker or swing a round to twenty people and the bill is still under 40k!    

Mbabazi's - Soya, Bunga
An open invitation to The Man With The Hat. Chogm High Command, a kimeeza group, (Nodin, Doc, Paulo, Willo, Julio and Kayos) want to host you at Mbabazi’s in Soya so you see how they roll - then you might just change your opinion on kafundas. And you can even bring your personal chair - you know, the one with the red upholstery that's lugged round wherever you go......  


Pictures: NTV, Bukedde

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