Why Can't We Respect Invitation Cards?

Will we ever get the whole invitation card thing right? Do people bother to read what’s written on the invitation card envelope? No, they don’t. Do people steal invitation cards? Yes, they do. Do people still try and crash functions? They do.

I was at a function recently and the invitation card was explicit. The invitation only invited the person whose name appeared on the card. Unperturbed, Young Man duly turned up to the function dressed to the nines along with Better Half. At the entrance and upon presenting his card, Card Attendant told him the card was addressed to him alone – not to him and Better Half.

Invitation Cards Only Admit The Person Its Addressed To Or Number Of People Written On The Card 

He stood rooted looking at Card Attendant with scepticism, then at Better Half while trying to figure out his Plan B. “But I have an invitation card” he ejaculated to which, Card Attendant swiftly responded: “You do, but the card admits you and not you and Better Half.” What happened next was unexpected. Rather than walk away, his mouth opened and out gushed a torrent of abuse.

“You people are stupid. Next time, be better organized. You send me a card and now you tell me Better Half can’t get in? What kind of function is this?”

If Young Man thought his diatribe intimidated Card Attendant, he was wrong. She stood her ground and when reality dawned on him that Better Half would have to trudge home or wait by the boda boda stage while he attended the function, he cut his losses, turned on his heels and off he went stamping his feet in a last and feeble act of defiance.

An Invitation For One, But We Go And Invite The Entire Kyalo

One of the toughest card attendants in land is Thalma Byenkya of Silk Events. Thalma gives an icy stare that’s enough to give you goose pimple even on a hot day and she does not give a hoot at your standing in society - whether you are an MP, minister or CEO. Once her dreadlocks start fraying, its game over. She will tell you once – as she indeed told me at a function where, she sort of bounced me for not turning up with my invitation card. “Yes, I know you are TB, but you still need to present your invitation card”. I was lucky to have been saved by the event organizers otherwise it would have been a humiliating long walk back to the car. Meanwhile, Bardu Ntege didn’t survive her wrath at a Club Silk party.

If Thalma Byenkya Is The Person At The Door And You Don't Have An Invite, Just Go Home!

Some people though, can really be brazen. Years back at the goat races in Munyonyo, Trying To Fluke Guest had the audacity to tell Sudhir Ruparelia of all people, that he (Trying To Fluke Guest) had an invitation card and that he (Sudhir) had no right to stop him from getting into the Crane Bank tent.

Trying To Fluke Guest: “I was personally invited by Sudhir so why can’t I get in?”

Sudhir: “Sudhir personally invited you?!?”

Trying To Fluke Guest: “He did. I even have a card.”

Invitation cards to the goat races as regulars would know, will not get you into the hospitality tents. What will, is the wristband. And how was the situation resolved? Sudhir looked at Trying To Fluke Guest, shook his head and walked off while, Guest Trying To Fluke bellowed at how he was going to report him (Sudhir) to Sudhir. Hmm…

Sudhir Ruparelia At A Recent 'By Invitation Only' Function

But spare a thought for Jacob Oulanya, deputy speaker of parliament who, I almost bounced at Silk Events White Party many-a-year ago. He had no invitation and I also knew he was not on the guest list. Fortunately, his name was on another guest list I was not privy to otherwise, I wonder who would have been more embarrassed if I really did have to bounce him – he or his bodyguards?