Do We Lack Personal Hygiene Morals?

Have our personal hygiene habits become less than desirable? 

Ali, is one of those people who never carries a handkerchief about him yet, for the best part of the day, he has his finger up his nose picking away. He prods with his index finger – not at the entrance, but deep down its hairy depths in search of that mucus that’s troubling him. The thing about Ali, is that he does not take himself away to the washrooms or somewhere private, but he does right there and openly. When he eventually seizes control of the mucus, he gawps at it – almost like he’s accomplished a feat that’s worthy of a gold medal podium finish, rolls it between his thumb and finger before flicking it away. I think trajectory is all important because he has this look of reverence as it soars into the air. If he doesn’t flick it into the air, he will smear it off under the table or seat. On the few occasions that people have reluctantly borrowed his ride, there is a need to wipe down the steering wheel because the first time I held it, it felt all sticky – and slimy at that.   

CAUGHT: Did Obama forget his manners and pick his nose at a press conference?

As for Dennis, he’s just something else. I should have revealed his tribe, but many would deemed it as me being tribalistic.  When he goes out to eat and the hot towel is offered, it’s almost as if its shower time. He starts off by wiping down his face, moving on to his bald head and then – wait for it, wait for it, he undoes the first three buttons of his shirt and gives his armpits a good toweling down! Now no matter how appetizing the food looks when Waiter presents it, after seeing Dennis have his ‘shower’, you will have a loss of appetite. These days when I go out eat, and a hot towel is proffered, I decline it – just in case it’s the towel that had been in Dennis’s armpits the day before.

WET TOWEL ETIQUETTE:  In restaurants, wet towels may be served before the meal - to clean your fingers and around your mouth. It's not polite to clean beyond these areas - your neck, head, behind your ears and certainly NOT armpits. 

With the next tale, I will probably have to circumvent the pork place for a while, because this particular person is a regular there and does read Sunday Vision. I don’t know him, but whenever he walks in on Sunday, clad in his golf shorts and sandals, we give each other a polite nod of acknowledgment. He has a habit – that of picking his toe nails. Even when the pork is served, he will have one foot up in the chair picking away as he eats. When he feels it necessitates the use of both hands, he simply licks the pork grease off his fingers, delves in and does what has to be done. And deprived of thought, he’ll dip his fingers straight back into the pork when done. Surprisingly enough, none of his fellow porkers, ever seem to complain.

MANNERS: You don't cut nails during meals

There is, something about having a drink with Matthew that’s stopped many having a drink with him including, yours truly. When he’s not drinking he’s okay – with impeccable manners until the Johnnie Walker Black Label is cracked open. After every other sip or so, he just can’t stop spitting. A hiss spit at that. Like James and his nose picking, he doesn’t take himself away to do it. 

ACQUIRED TASTE: Double Black Label

Nonchalantly, he just spins his head and spits – be it on the wall, the shrubbery or on the floor. When he’s invited for house parties, Host encourages him to sit as far away from the house as possible - near the boundary wall shrubbery – to which he complains: “bulijjo bantuuza munsiko”(they always sit me in the bush). What makes Matthew interesting, is that in all the time that I have known him, he is almost innocently naïve as to why Host wants him sit in the bush. I think.     

Picture Credits: dailydish.today, the oshiboricompany.com, shutterstock.com, amazon.co.uk