Is Your Mother-In-Law The Bitch From Hell?

They don't call them monsters-in-law for nothing. Mothers-in-law are notorious for being controlling, judgmental, critical, and overbearing. And like any toxic person, a toxic mother-in-law is a soul-sucking parasite that feeds on your misery. To protect yourself, you first need to know your enemy, so here are 6 signs you might be dealing with a toxic mother-in-law.

1.       She is always right, without exception. 

2.       She is dismissive. 

3.       She makes it clear she doesn't like you. 

4.       She doesn't respect your words, choices, or personal space. 

5.       She engages in smear tactics. 

6.        She's vindictive, spiteful, grudge-holding, and punishing. 

Except in Okello’s case, he had not yet married into the family. As far as Susan’s mother was concerned, any man who came from across the River Nile was a savage, uncouth and not good enough for her Muganda daughter. When Okello started dating Susan – just fresh out of her O-levels in England, her mum flipped. She went berserk, ranted, raved, did cartwheels and was on the first plane to London to assure that ‘northerner’ as she called him that he was not fit enough for her daughter.

No sooner had the old Uganda Airlines plane touched down in London than she was in his face. She lashed at him, mocked him and hurled all kinds of expletives at him.

With hindsight, Okello, should have walked and gone and found himself a woman whose mother would not stress. But he didn’t. The love they had for each other was so strong that despite all the abuse that went on for years, it didn’t break his resolve.

The tide changed when Okello, graduated and landed a very respectful job that enabled him to buy a house for him and their now three kids along with all the trappings of a luxurious family life. Right now, Okello can hardly put a foot wrong because Mother-In-Law kneels for him whenever he visits and dots all over him – something that was would never have happened at the start of the relationship. Hmmm.

They were neighbours in Ntinda during their teens in the 70s. But in the 70s, having a boyfriend would be enough to get you a lashing from your parents and especially if you are a girl.

So when Harriet’s mother found out that The Boy Next Door would come and visit while she and hubby were at work, the issue needed to be nipped in the bud. First she gave Daughter a lashing of a lifetime which was followed by words of abuse. Next, she went next door and assured the boy and his mum never to step foot into her compound and to have nothing to do with her daughter. Like in the first story, this went on for a good number of years.

Harriet and The Boy Next Door eventually grew up and went their separate ways and got married to different people and had children. He lived in Scotland and she lived in Uganda. Then she relocated to Manchester and a good number of years went by until they bumped into each other at a party.

As fate would have it, they both were both single – with their previous marriages not having worked out and there is no need to tell you the direction of the tale. They became friends and one thing led to another that they got married.

The most interesting thing that happened at the wedding was the speech by Harriet’s mother. She was full of praises for The Boy Next Door – saying all these good things about how he used to come and visit and how he was well mannered as a boy and how she hoped her daughter would end up marrying him. Hmmm. 


Pictures: Pinetrest.com