When Wifey And Girlfie Clean Out Your House

There is something about leaving. Be it employment or the better half splitting up with you. When it comes to domestic help, most of them, if not, all do not have contracts or terms and conditions. They don’t have working hours. All they know, is that they are supposed to look after the house and only go to bed when the rest of the household has retired.

Of course, during the day and once the household has gone to school and to the office, they lock up and go and do their own things. If not, they have friends over and spend it watching Nigerian movies on DStv.

Nothing Left But The Bed

However, when they tire of the job, nine times out of ten, they don’t feel obligated to inform Employer. They simply say that Grandmother in kyalo is sick and they want four days off. And that’s the last you ever hear of them.

Days after their departure is when you suddenly notice that you can’t find things. Bras and knickers have gone missing as have the children’s clothes, shoes and other items. Basically, Domestic Help gave herself a ‘retirement package’ before she left.

Joshua was in a long term relationship with four kids under his roof and a wife. Okay, so they had been having some problems, but he took them as minor teething relationship problems that could be sorted out when he returned from a trip upcountry.

He was somewhere in western Uganda when Domestic Help called sounding very unsure of himself. All he kept on saying in a croaky voice is that they have left. “Who has left” so Joshua kept on asking, but Domestic Help, simply repeated the same thing over and over like a CD that is skipping.

So he called Wifey to find out. In a straight and upbeat mode she told him all was fine at home and there was nothing to worry about. Confidence restored, he finished his work and returned a few days later. When Domestic Help opened the gates, he looked almost ghost like and trembling all over. In fact, he broke out into a sweat the moment Joshua stepped out of the ride.

It was when he got into the house that he realized what he meant when he said: “they have left”. Wifey had packed up the kids and left. Not only that, she had swept the house to through that there was no evidence of the kids and Wifey ever living in it. But she was however, ‘thoughtful’ enough to leave him a few ‘essential’ items. An ice bucket, salt shaker, a teaspoon and the matrimonial bed – oh, and the DStv. But no curtains.

Everything Gone But The Carpet

Then there is Joseph who moved in with Girlfie. But let’s back track. By the time Girlfie moved in, Joshua’s house was bare and with Girlfie insisting they can’t live in a bare house, he embarked on a building spree to make the house feel homely. Cooker came as did a microwave and all the other essentials to run a house.

However, one evening upon returning home he pops into the kafunda for a drink and the neighbors are surprised to see him. “But Joseph, what are you doing here, we thought you had moved” – something that took him by surprise. Everybody kept on saying it.

That Empty Feeling

Trying to put the whole saga to bed, he asked how they came to such a conclusion. It turns out that while he was at work, Girlife turned up with a Canter truck and packed up the house. She even got the neighbors to help her pack up and also had the audacity to go to the kafunda to pay off any outstanding bills.

Pictures: freepik.com, tenor.com, alamystockphoto