Timothy Bukumunhe : 2020 - The Year We All Get Rich And Don't Have To Work

It’s been 12 days since 2019 faded into the abyss and the realization that it will be another 12 months to go before we get to see another Christmas kicks in. Some sadly didn’t make it into the New Year because they were on their death beds at Mulago, knocked over trying to be suicidal by attempting to cross Entebbe Express Highway or got shot dead by police. Many went into 2020 with resolutions that will get broken way before January is over while, Money Lender will be on a roll as traditionally, January is bad month financially for many.

As we contemplate what 2020 might be like, I thought of a friend - Ms. Jemima Nagundi who, is the self-appointed president of The Public Holidays Association of Uganda. Just in case she doesn’t already know, we have fifteen public holidays next year of which, eight of them will go to waste because they fall on either Saturday or Sunday. The holidays that make sense because they afford us a long weekend are - Good Friday because it obviously falls on Friday, Easter Monday because and again, it falls on Monday, Labour Day (Friday) and Independence Day also on Friday. However, there is a chance of getting extra public holidays if God decides to ‘call’ somebody who is very prominent to go and be by his side.

The Vivacious Jemima Nagundi - President of The Public Holidays Association of Uganda

Obviously, I too have some resolutions to make. The two most obvious ones are giving up on the fags and booze as well as reducing my salt intake. I could also do with putting on a little weight seeing that there is now a KFC outlet three minutes’ walk away from the office. But I might cheat on the booze and fags which, neatly reminds me of a story of the controversial former MP, Ken ‘The Man’ Lukyamuzi.

John 'The Man' Lukyamuzi

If I recall, he wowed to go on a hunger strike over something to do with the wetlands where Garden City sits. However, hours before he started the strike, he was smoked out in a restaurant having a more than a meal of a meal – presumably, to get him through the two weeks he was supposed to strike. But the strike crumbled almost as soon as it started because the following day he was spotted having breakfast.

Meanwhile, scrawling the web for 2020 predictions, this is what I found.

Nobody Will Work And Everybody Will Be Rich

In 1966, Time magazine in an essay called The Futurists, they predicted that “machines will be producing so much that everyone in the U.S. will, in effect, be independently wealthy.” Without even lifting a finger, the average non-working family could expect to earn an average salary of between $30,000 and $40,000, according to Time. That's in 1966 dollars, mind you; in 2020, that'd be about $300,000—for doing nothing.

When Will We All Be Rich?

Women Will Be Built Like Wrestlers

In 1950, Associated Press writer Dorothy Roe revealed some shocking predictions of what life on earth would be like in the 21st century, according to Smithsonian magazine. Among her more head-scratching forecasts were that the women of tomorrow would be “more than six feet tall’ and would ‘wear a size 11 shoe, have shoulders like a wrestler, and muscles like a truck driver.”

Women Will Have Bodies Like This

We'll Wear Antenna Hats And Disposable Socks

For a 1939 issue of British Vogue, product designer Gilbert Rhode was asked what he believed people in the 21st century would be wearing. He imagined that, by 2020, we would have banished buttons, pockets, collars, and ties, and that men would revolt against shaving. “His hat will be an antenna, snatching radio out of the ether. His socks - disposable. His suit minus tie, collar, and buttons.”