Just Who Do The Ba-summer Think They Are?

Thinking out loud, do any of you remember the first words you said after the stroke of midnight as 2020 came into play and after shouting out: “Happy New Year?” I can’t remember either, but probably something along the lines of needing a drink.

Anyway, we are four days into 2020 and the glitz and euphoria of the Christmas vacation has all but worn off except, for the need to reprimand the Ba-Summer for their behavior.

Live, Love Thy Bushenyi Accent

Okay, so you went to Boston in 1987, your English has not improved and more importantly, the Bushenyi accent is still as thick as that of the herdsman you left behind. It’s okay. We are not going to castigate you after all, you are not a Bostonanian – an American, but one of us, a Ugandan albeit from Bushenyi. Live and love thy Bushenyi accent. Come back and show us that no matter how many years you have been living in the Diaspora, Bushenyi is home, and the accent shall always prevail. After all, how will Nyakwenkuru (grandmother) and Shwenkuru (grandfather), understand you if the flowing flair of the Bushenyi accent has been replaced by a troubled American accent.   

Mbu, I Can’t Remember Much of Ug

Simeon is not close to me but more of a fringe friend. Simeon left these shores in April last year. Prior to that, the closest he had gotten to going abroad, was seeing off relatives at Entebbe airport. So he calls me to go for a drink and I suggest one of our haunts – Soya in Bunga. And his response? “Soya, where is that?” Really! So I remind him of Mbabazi’s and he still feigns ignorance. Two days later, his amnesia has gone. He now remembers Mbabazi’s and we meet up on Saturday – “my treat” he emphasizes when the bill is presented and swiftly, he pulls out a Santander Bank visa card and gives it to Waitress. I should have slapped him straightaway and told him to do away with his nonsense. Jeez, he’s only been away for eight months and all of a sudden he can’t remember where Soya is and that Mbabazi’s is a kafunda and only deals in cash and is a million years away from accepting visa payments?!? I really ought to have flogged the kajanja out him.

OMG, You Have KFC and Pizza Hut!

You in the Diaspora who left a ‘dead’ Uganda when you fled during the troubles of the 80s, Uganda is not dead anymore. We are up and running. Okay, so we have potholes – just like you do in London. We have street beggars – just like you do in Dallas. We have riots – just like you do in New York. And YES, we also have KFC and Pizza Hut - just like you have in London, Dallas, New York and wherever. Next time you fly in, please spare us the: “OMG, you guys also have KFC” crap… Just to bring you up to speed, we also have a national airline, a Forbes magazine certified billionaire in Sudhir Ruparelia, Sheraton Hotel, Apple and Adidas Shops, ABSA Bank, sit down toilets that flush water, hotels with infinity pools… Mudangamu or should I continue?     

 

We Are Entitled

The Ba-summer feel that they are entitled and are above the rest of us. They feel that when they go out, they deserve to be served first because they are busy and have so many people to go and visit. They sneer when they don’t get their way and with scorn they say: “I can’t deal with Ugandans.”

Conclusion  

Ba-summer, if this December you come back feeling all haughty, haughty just because you live abroad, just know you are no better than any of us. Uganda is home regardless of if you come to visit or to sleep forever six foot under. 


Pictures: volunteertherealuganda.com, teepublic.com, monitor.co.ug, netclipart.com