When You Get Fired, Do You Walk Away With Dignity Or Go Berserk?

‘Going Postal’ is an American English slang phrase referring to becoming extremely and uncontrollably angry, often to the point of violence, and usually in a workplace environment. The expression derives from a series of incidents from 1986 onward in which United States Postal Service workers shot and killed managers, fellow workers, and members of the police or general public - all because they had been threatened with the sack or had actually been sacked.

We all react differently when our jobs are on the line and when we have been terminated. Going on a shooting spree is the extreme. Here in Uganda, most will probably grovel, plead or cry. Some will do it with a degree of dignity while others just lose the plot.

Is It Okay To Cry After Being Sacked?

In my early days at The New Vision when William Pike was still Editor-In-Chief, I heard whispers in the corridor of a damsel who had been fired. Obviously she wasn’t going to go just like that. She was going to fight for her job so she took herself down to William’s office and sought to meet him. William being Irish and very accommodating agreed to see her and no sooner was she was in his office, than her Muganda self, fell to the floor and started wailing in the same manner as happens at funerals. The wailing aside, she pleaded and rambled like she had been hit by demons. The story goes that William had never seen anything like that, and as so startled, didn’t know what to do except, offer her job back.

 

Being Fired Is Not The End Of The World - Or Is It?

Of course I didn’t believe the story! However, when the millennium broke, I got a gig in Munyonyo. Natasha Karugire was launching her fashions – House Kaine and I was asked to supervise the catering staff. In the pre-function area, as guests mingled including Mr and Mrs M7, the catering staff walked through the guests offering finger bites. However, there was Waitress with a platter of fish fingers who just looked suspicious. Then all of a sudden she vanished. Scouting the room, she was nowhere to be seen. I let it slide. Going for a drinks refill, behind the counter, there is somebody crouching and when I peer over properly, its Waitress with the platter popping fish fingers into her mouth like there is no tomorrow. Is there any need to tell you that I fired her on the spot? No!

As I mingled, through my peripheral vision, I see her making a bee line for me and without warning, she drops to her feet, clings to my ankles, sobs and begs to be forgiven. With guests looking on, I was snookered. There was nothing to do but tell her all is ok and to go back to work.

A few years ago, and after numerous warnings, I summoned Junior Colleague to my work station to tell her that that her immediate future with the company was in doubt. Obviously she apologized but this time another apology was not going to save her. Her file was thick of warning letters, there were no signs of improvement and she had to go.

 

Is The Any Need To Be Melodramatic After Being Fired?

In following with the theme of today’s tale, is there any need for me to tell you what happened next? For those who don’t get the gist, she ‘fell’ out of the chair and on to her knees and started wailing. In between the wailing, came her life story of ‘being a single mum, how life would be difficult for her and her kid, and that she would be out on the streets because she has nobody to turn to. I had a quick glance round the floor to see who might have noticed – one person had.                           

 

After Being Sacked, Do Colleagues Have To Hold You Back In Case You start Smashing Up The Office?

Waitress, as soon as the function was over and the guests had departed, I re-fired her. And Junior Colleague? To be continued... 

Pictures: 123rf.com, nbcnews.com, houstoncronical.com

Is Your Mother-In-Law The Bitch From Hell?

They don't call them monsters-in-law for nothing. Mothers-in-law are notorious for being controlling, judgmental, critical, and overbearing. And like any toxic person, a toxic mother-in-law is a soul-sucking parasite that feeds on your misery. To protect yourself, you first need to know your enemy, so here are 6 signs you might be dealing with a toxic mother-in-law.

1.       She is always right, without exception. 

2.       She is dismissive. 

3.       She makes it clear she doesn't like you. 

4.       She doesn't respect your words, choices, or personal space. 

5.       She engages in smear tactics. 

6.        She's vindictive, spiteful, grudge-holding, and punishing. 

Except in Okello’s case, he had not yet married into the family. As far as Susan’s mother was concerned, any man who came from across the River Nile was a savage, uncouth and not good enough for her Muganda daughter. When Okello started dating Susan – just fresh out of her O-levels in England, her mum flipped. She went berserk, ranted, raved, did cartwheels and was on the first plane to London to assure that ‘northerner’ as she called him that he was not fit enough for her daughter.

No sooner had the old Uganda Airlines plane touched down in London than she was in his face. She lashed at him, mocked him and hurled all kinds of expletives at him.

With hindsight, Okello, should have walked and gone and found himself a woman whose mother would not stress. But he didn’t. The love they had for each other was so strong that despite all the abuse that went on for years, it didn’t break his resolve.

The tide changed when Okello, graduated and landed a very respectful job that enabled him to buy a house for him and their now three kids along with all the trappings of a luxurious family life. Right now, Okello can hardly put a foot wrong because Mother-In-Law kneels for him whenever he visits and dots all over him – something that was would never have happened at the start of the relationship. Hmmm.

They were neighbours in Ntinda during their teens in the 70s. But in the 70s, having a boyfriend would be enough to get you a lashing from your parents and especially if you are a girl.

So when Harriet’s mother found out that The Boy Next Door would come and visit while she and hubby were at work, the issue needed to be nipped in the bud. First she gave Daughter a lashing of a lifetime which was followed by words of abuse. Next, she went next door and assured the boy and his mum never to step foot into her compound and to have nothing to do with her daughter. Like in the first story, this went on for a good number of years.

Harriet and The Boy Next Door eventually grew up and went their separate ways and got married to different people and had children. He lived in Scotland and she lived in Uganda. Then she relocated to Manchester and a good number of years went by until they bumped into each other at a party.

As fate would have it, they both were both single – with their previous marriages not having worked out and there is no need to tell you the direction of the tale. They became friends and one thing led to another that they got married.

The most interesting thing that happened at the wedding was the speech by Harriet’s mother. She was full of praises for The Boy Next Door – saying all these good things about how he used to come and visit and how he was well mannered as a boy and how she hoped her daughter would end up marrying him. Hmmm. 


Pictures: Pinetrest.com            

Women Are Also Sexual Predators....

“As a society, we must recognize the barriers that men face when choosing whether to speak out about a sexual assault.  When these men do choose to come forward, it is important that male survivors, like all survivors, be believed and supported by those around them, and allowed to make their own decisions about what courses of action to take.” - Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Centre – University of Michigan

In The Movie Disclosure, Michael Douglas Is Sexually Harassed By Demi Moore

 It was 1999 and I was new in town after a very good number of years living abroad. Obviously, there was a need to get a job as fast as possible. And getting a job so I found out, didn’t come from newspaper adverts, but connections – somebody who knows somebody, who knows somebody.

Cousin, worked for an international hotel chain in the middle of town and knew the hotel was looking for a PR Manager. She managed to get my name on the interview list with the head of Sales and Marketing - a lady whose initials are GM. The picture I had of her, was a chic in a power suit, high heels, full of flair and hair tied back.

Women Also Grope Men Without Their Consent

 When she flaunted in, she was all that and more. She was very arresting. Her legs so I thought, were specially hand crafted by God and almost the height of the hotel she worked for. There was however, no power suit. She was wearing shorts with heels. Of course, I gave her the once over while her back was turned on me.

During the interview she asked some hard-hitting questions which in my opinion, I floated through. An hour and a half later as it came to a close, she eased up, sat back in her leather swivel chair then asked: “Do you like women?”

Unwanted Attention?

 I felt like I had been sucker punched by a question in quantum physics. What sort of question is that I wanted to ask but didn’t. I cleared my throat and let out a feeble “pardon”. Again she asked and three billion different thoughts ran through my head with all three billion thoughts causing utter carnage and mayhem as they tried to conjure up an appropriate answer.

Was she asking about my sexuality? Had she caught me eyeing her handcrafted legs? What did she want to know for? In a trembling voice I said: “Yes, I like women and I have no problem working with them.” At that, she leans forward and says: “TB, some men don’t like it when the woman is on top.”

I understood where she was coming from, but it was the tone that made me feel very uncomfortable. It didn’t come across like she was asking if I had a problem having a female boss. This felt sexual, like she had made a sublime sexual pass.

In The Movie Fatal Attraction, Glen Close Sexually Harassed Michael Till The Bitter End 

 Big George as he likes to call himself and I needed haircuts, so we went to Soya. At the barbers, Girl Assistant’s job is to wash heads once cut. When I walked in, she was giving Big George a head massage and in a not so bothered way, I asked why I never get that part of the service. All I got back was a sneering look.

After my cut and hair wash, she did give me a head massage. It was soothing to say the least until her hands slid down my neck, under my t-shirt and started on my shoulders. I felt a tad uncomfortable, but let it slide. Next, her hands slid down to my pectorals (chest) and really started on a thorough massage that included twirling at my nipples! She didn’t stop there. She whipped my t-shirt out of my jeans and started massaging my belly that was still bloated with last night’s beer. 

Pictures: indiewire.com, moviemem.com, nypost.com, nbcnews.com, plbsh.com

When Wifey And Girlfie Clean Out Your House

There is something about leaving. Be it employment or the better half splitting up with you. When it comes to domestic help, most of them, if not, all do not have contracts or terms and conditions. They don’t have working hours. All they know, is that they are supposed to look after the house and only go to bed when the rest of the household has retired.

Of course, during the day and once the household has gone to school and to the office, they lock up and go and do their own things. If not, they have friends over and spend it watching Nigerian movies on DStv.

Nothing Left But The Bed

However, when they tire of the job, nine times out of ten, they don’t feel obligated to inform Employer. They simply say that Grandmother in kyalo is sick and they want four days off. And that’s the last you ever hear of them.

Days after their departure is when you suddenly notice that you can’t find things. Bras and knickers have gone missing as have the children’s clothes, shoes and other items. Basically, Domestic Help gave herself a ‘retirement package’ before she left.

Joshua was in a long term relationship with four kids under his roof and a wife. Okay, so they had been having some problems, but he took them as minor teething relationship problems that could be sorted out when he returned from a trip upcountry.

He was somewhere in western Uganda when Domestic Help called sounding very unsure of himself. All he kept on saying in a croaky voice is that they have left. “Who has left” so Joshua kept on asking, but Domestic Help, simply repeated the same thing over and over like a CD that is skipping.

So he called Wifey to find out. In a straight and upbeat mode she told him all was fine at home and there was nothing to worry about. Confidence restored, he finished his work and returned a few days later. When Domestic Help opened the gates, he looked almost ghost like and trembling all over. In fact, he broke out into a sweat the moment Joshua stepped out of the ride.

It was when he got into the house that he realized what he meant when he said: “they have left”. Wifey had packed up the kids and left. Not only that, she had swept the house to through that there was no evidence of the kids and Wifey ever living in it. But she was however, ‘thoughtful’ enough to leave him a few ‘essential’ items. An ice bucket, salt shaker, a teaspoon and the matrimonial bed – oh, and the DStv. But no curtains.

Everything Gone But The Carpet

Then there is Joseph who moved in with Girlfie. But let’s back track. By the time Girlfie moved in, Joshua’s house was bare and with Girlfie insisting they can’t live in a bare house, he embarked on a building spree to make the house feel homely. Cooker came as did a microwave and all the other essentials to run a house.

However, one evening upon returning home he pops into the kafunda for a drink and the neighbors are surprised to see him. “But Joseph, what are you doing here, we thought you had moved” – something that took him by surprise. Everybody kept on saying it.

That Empty Feeling

Trying to put the whole saga to bed, he asked how they came to such a conclusion. It turns out that while he was at work, Girlife turned up with a Canter truck and packed up the house. She even got the neighbors to help her pack up and also had the audacity to go to the kafunda to pay off any outstanding bills.

Pictures: freepik.com, tenor.com, alamystockphoto

Do Your Staff Have The Right Work Ethics?

Wikipedia, describes work ethics as: “a belief that hard work and diligence have a moral benefit and an inherent ability, virtue or value to strengthen character and individual abilities. It is a set of values centered on importance of work and manifested by determination or desire to work hard.”

To be honest, that narrative is all complex. Mine would read something like this: “Doing the job with all due diligence.”

There is something about blue collar workers – house help, waitresses, drivers and so forth. Their work ethics especially when it comes to leaving the job, differ from that of a white collar worker. When house help asks for time off to go to the village, it’s usually the signal that they are not coming back. And for most of us, we learned the hard way because we didn’t see the signals. Like Dora says: “It’s imperative to check their rooms before they leave because it’s not in their work ethics to tell you that they are done. They have quit. They just go and never come back. If they have left say their radio, some Sunday best clothes, the nice suitcase and a neatly laid bed, then they are coming back. But, if on the other hand, they have left tattered clothes and worn out slippers, then they are gone for good.”

But sometimes, the blue collar work ethic does cross over to the white collar worker. A while back, I was invited to sit on an interview panel of a company seeking to hire a receptionist. When Interviewee walked in, she had receptionist attributes and the interview was going well until she got asked - “if she you were offered the job, when could you start?” Interviewee’s response simply astounded. “Right now” she said. “But wait up” I interjected. “You told us you were working at a company on Bukoto Street. Don’t you have to give them some notice?” Interviewee didn’t even bat her eyelids when she said: “I told them I have a problem. I just won’t go back.”

With that she failed the interview. If she was willing to ask her employer for a couple of hours off to go sort out a ‘problem’ (read: going for an interview) and not going back because she was offered the job on the spot, then, she is obviously going to do the same thing to us if we had offered her the job. And the saddest part of it all, is that she did not see where she went wrong.  

          

There are a number of offices that, overlook Kampala Road. And at least once or twice during any given week, there is a parade from City Square down towards Centenary Park. These marches that have been sanctioned by the police are usually led by a band and behind them anybody from school teachers, nurses, prisons, National Water and so forth. All are marching for a cause.

As we sat in the boardroom overlooking Kampala Road, we could hear tunes from the band get louder and louder. And the louder they became, I started to notice concentration beginning to wane in the boardroom with people trying to peer out of the huge windows to get a look. As a joke I said: “Perhaps we could adjourn the meeting for two minutes so people can get to see what is going on outside.”

To my utter surprise, literally the entire boardroom leapt out of their seats to go and gawp at Buganda Road Primary School – it think it was marching past!

Speaking to one of the managers after the meeting, he had this to say: “It don’t understand their work ethics. People march past every week and my staff will rush to the windows. An ambulance siren also attracts their attention as does that of a bullion van, police car……”  

Pictures: Internet